VIOLET (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

17.

If Marlowe was being completely honest with himself, he'd been avoiding Caiti. He'd used Elliot as an excuse for a while, said he was trying to spend a lot of time with him before he went back to school.

But Elliot was gone now, left on the train that morning, and Marlowe knew Caiti would start to notice his behavior if it went on much longer — if she hadn't noticed it already, of course.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see her. He'd been missing her quite a lot. But the couple of times he had seen her, even if just for a few minutes, she kept looking at him like she was worried about him and he didn't like it. Caiti was usually good about not doing that. She was usually good about treating him like he was normal.

He knew this was a somewhat more severe circumstance and she was just doing it because she cared about him, but it just made him feel worse about himself. It made him think about it, which he was mostly successful at avoiding when she wasn't around.

It wasn't until his mum pointed out that Caiti hadn't been around much that he knew he'd better do his best to fix things.

So he went to her house late that night, after it was dark and he knew she'd already be in bed, apparating directly into her room. She turned over at the cracking sound his arrival made.

"Sorry," Marlowe whispered. "Sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay," she said groggily.

"Can I just— I missed you."

Caiti scooted over a little to make more room for him and he crawled into bed next to her.

"Just go back to sleep," he said, pulling her into his arms. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just wanted to be with you."

Caiti said nothing, but she put her hand on his side and it was so familiar it made Marlowe feel extra guilty for avoiding her. In the morning, they would talk, he promised himself. He was off work tomorrow. In the morning, he would tell her everything he was feeling and he would lay out what he needed from her and he would not worry about upsetting her because Caiti loved him anyway, in spite of everything he was and everything he'd done. He knew this. He didn't have to be afraid of being honest with her.

And he didn't have to be afraid of her being honest with him either. He could take it, whatever she thought about what he'd done. She could tell him and he would still love her, too.

He held her a little closer, breathed in the scent of her hair, and tried to sync up his inhales and exhales with hers until he fell asleep.

—-

In the morning, Caiti and Marlowe woke up almost simultaneously, but neither of them said a word. Caiti just scooted back from him a little, looked him in the eye, still blinking everything into focus, and they just stayed like that for a long time.

Her brain hadn't really started thinking yet, but she could sense something about him, something heavy. Finally, Marlowe moved, kissed her hard, tangling his fingers into her hair, and then, with their faces still close, he said, "Can we go for a walk or something?"

"Yeah," Caiti breathed. She felt suddenly on edge, but he kissed her again, brushed his thumb over her lips, and he smiled little. She couldn't decide if she was making it all up.

Caiti pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and then they stopped by Marlowe's house so he could change. There were better places to walk by his house anyway.

They stepped outside, Marlowe's hand in hers, and the morning air felt cool and a little damp. Birds chirped up in the trees and bright morning light filtered down through the leaves. There were so many trees in this area. They walked for a few minutes and Caiti tried to enjoy the fresh air and the quiet, but she just couldn't relax. She still had that nagging feeling that something was off.