Love Grows ♡ Kenjorine

Chapter 15 ♡

Marjorine's point of view ♡ 

I find myself awakening, once again, before Heidi or Wendy.

I actually really do find comfort in routine, and it seems we have developed one. These past mornings, I've been waking up before the girls and sauntering into the bathroom before attacking my face with concealer, and they typically follow shortly after. However, ever since we enrolled in Park County College, it seems as if there's another trial or tribulation to be dealt with each day. Not that I necessarily mind this, it's just such an out of body experience for me. Prior to this point in time, I was practically allergic to boys and whatever they come with, the closest experience I had was talking to Wendy about Stan.

As if on queue, I hear a small groaning noise escape Wendys mouth as she awakens.

"Good morning, Wendy," I yawn, sitting upright in bed. I watch her shift and turn beneath her lilac bedsheets.

"Morning, Marj," she sighs, attempting to sit upright too. Wendy is one of those girls who can look really beautiful, even seconds after waking up. She's not Bebe pretty - Bebe is intimidating and striking, her freshly maintained platinum curls and plump red lips make it almost difficult to approach her. Wendy is inviting, neat, well kept. . her skin is like porcelain, her nose is a button. Her long, pin-straight black hair flows past her chest and It'd never be caught looking unclean. 

Oh, what am I even saying? I hate how as girls we are almost mechanically engineered to put each other in categories based on how we look. I am guilty of it especially, especially after I fell in to myself as Marjorine.

"Wendy, where were you last night?" I ask.

She looks startled. She's definitely awake now, for sure. 

"Umm. . about that. ."

"Yeah, Wendy, we were all wondering," Heidi says, a little harshly, acting as if she doesn't know exactly where Wendy was. To my dismay, she still seems a little upset, I can see it in her face. She raises one eyebrow at Wendy. She's clearly unimpressed.

"Fine," Wendy sighs helplessly. "I was with Stan."

"Oh, Wendy, it's okay," I reassure, also doing a good job acting as if Heidi hadn't clocked her the night before. "I don't think we necessarily approve of him but we're always here to listen, right, Heidi?"

I look to Heidi before she groans and banishes herself to the bathroom. Okay then.

As mentioned previously, Heidi has this deeply-kept angry side to her, curated by the manipulation of Eric Cartman. But when I really think about it - I only ever really notice it shine through at the hands of Stan Marsh. Which is strange, it's not like Stan is hurting Heidi directly. I don't think he could give less of a shit about Heidi. 

The more I think about it, the more my suspicions towards Heidi and her true feelings don't seem very far fetched. But I can't point fingers. I won't believe it until it's evident.

"What happened with him, Wend?" I ask reassuringly, wandering to her bed and sitting alongside her. I rub my hand up and down her spine lovingly.

"Well, at first, I was super mad, right?" Wendy begins. "Kyle spoke to me after our lecture and told me that Stan wanted to talk after the Karaoke bar incident. I had my head screwed on perfectly tight, I told him that I didn't care about Stan, which is a blatant lie, and I told him that if Stan wanted to talk to me he could do it himself.

After lectures were complete, Heidi, Bebe and I sat in the smoking area, where we watched you leave with Karen McCormick. We hung around, you know, as we do, talking shit and whatnot. We were actually exchanging some theories about you and Kenny! But then, I was pulled right out of girly-dreamland as Stan approached me. He towered over me, his shaggy black hair flowing through the wind, and that wretched septum piercing I've always hated. At first I scolded him for getting Kyle to talk to me and for not having the balls to approach me himself. I looked over to Heidi and Bebe and felt incredibly validated by their supportive grins. But Stan - he looked earnest, sullen. And though my logical brain knows he is the furthest thing from an honest man - he has a face I find it awfully hard to deny.

He asked to talk in private so I agreed, wether that is a foolish choice or not is up to you, but I know better than anyone how my heart has felt for the past ten years. He apologised profusely for being such a prick in the past, and if I'm being honest I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him for the extent of what he has done to me, but I digress. He additionally apologised for the Karaoke night, and if it came across as if he was using me. Though I don't know if I'll ever be able to thoroughly trust him again, when he asked me to go for coffee with him, I couldn't help myself. He confided in me and told me all sorts of beautiful things he would've never told me in our prior High School relationship. Like how on Karaoke night he felt as if we were living in our Elementary dream land again, and how ever since we broke up he hasn't been able to sleep properly. He told me that when he found out I was attending Park County, he was overjoyed, and prayed every night that it was a sign that we should try again."

I can tell by her face how passionate she is about him, but I can't help but feel sceptical.

"You just said that you don't think you'll ever be able to forgive him for what he did to you, though, Wendy," I say quietly, trying not to seem harsh. "Are you sure this is a risk you are willing to take?"

"I'm not going to rush in to it," she reassures, her cheeks glowing a pinkish colour. "There's just one thing I ask of you and Heidi. . can you girls please support me? I know it's difficult for you both, and really ironic, actually. This goes against everything I stand by. But I'm crumbling, Marjorine, he makes me melt. And maybe he really has changed. At least a little bit. Just. . please don't get all po-faced if I continue to see him."

I nod my head reluctantly. "You know I'll always be here for you, Wendy," I sigh. "You were one of the first people to accept me for who I truly am. Just. . look after yourself, alright?"

Wendy nods adamantly in return. 

"Another thing," she says, beginning to play with her black locks out of anxiousness. She looks around the apartment and lowers her voice. "Do you think that Heidi is mad at me?"

I take a deep breath and try to find the correct words to respond with. I can't tell Wendy about how I think Heidi may feel, it mightn't even be true. I'll have to have a word with her if my suspicions get much worse. But I don't want to leave Wendy in the dark completely. I hope this doesn't become some sort of 'piggy-in-the-middle.' My girls have been the one continuously stable element of my life.

"I think her feelings are a bit more complex than that," I let out in a whisper. "She'll be fine."

"Okay," Wendy nods, before standing up and heading to the bathroom.

"I suppose we might as well begin our makeup then. We don't want to miss any lectures!"

Now that's a relieving thing to hear from Wendy. Wether she's acting romantically smart or not, she'll always be book smart.

The three of us are in the bathroom again, fixing our hair, batting our eyelashes. I thought this was going to become one of my favourite parts of the day. I love doing my makeup and I love giggling with the girls about what we think could happen in the day ahead. But the silence between Heidi and Wendy is unbearably loud this morning. Heidi can't seem to shake the strikingly sullen look across her face. I try to distract them, making silly jokes about how Kenny is making my wildest dreams come true, really egging them on, but the best I receive are a few meek laughs.

I really hope this passes.