love you, love you, love you, love you [dean&femcas]

leave that door open for you

“I...would like to see Dean again, yes.”

Jack smiles knowingly, nods, says, “I thought you might.”

Cas frowns softly, still not so convinced.

It’s not Jack’s fault. She knows this. But she’s not the only angel still getting used to the fact that they don’t have to walk around eggshells with this new God of theirs. It’s as scary as it is beautiful.

With Chuck, it was always making sure his plans went accordingly. But with Jack, it really is a being just trying his best with all he has. Compassion is the one thing Chuck was always secretly missing.

So, yes, after almost twenty years of accompanying and helping her new and wholly worthy God along with putting all that Chuck did wrong to right, Cas is entirely surprised to be suddenly given a gift, as her new God puts it.

Jack’s smile widens. “He thinks about you a lot. More than you think about him since he’s been up here. But I know that’s you just forcing yourself not to think about him, so, I’m not sure it even counts.”

Cas gives a deadpan look. The one she gives to Jack whenever he asks if she misses the Winchesters, one Winchester in particular.

Still, she’s concerned, and maybe a little beat as she says, “Are you saying you no longer require me at your side?”

Jack blows out a light chuckle. Shakes his head. Places a gentle hand on her shoulder and says, “You are not my pet, Castiel. And I do not need celestial soldiers. There will be no wars that are not human. Those wars, they must learn to stop on their own. Otherwise, what is the point of letting them have freewill. You will always be needed by me, both as your God, and as Jack, your son.”

Cas smiles warmly at that. Nodding as she lifts a hand to squeeze his own at her shoulder. “Then...?”

Jack grins, lets his hand slip from her shoulder. “You love your work, you always have. But I can see now that it no longer fulfils you as it did before. The moment you met Dean, he changed you. Made you more aware. Made you feel like you weren’t just a blank vessel taking orders.”

Cas arches a brow, mutters, “A little insulting, but OK.”

Jack grins amusedly, cheekily tells her, “Of course you’ll still be at my beck and call.” He chuckles again when she shoots him a playful glare. “I just...I would like to give you the purpose you desire. And–“

“And Dean has never showed any signs of desiring me. Jack, this is not a good–“

“I mean, I’m doing this so you two can see each other again, but sure, if you wanted a little rough and tumble–“

“Oh, my God.” Cas groans quietly, screwing her eyes shut.

Jack laughs, elbows her lightly and says, “That’s ‘oh, your Jack.’”

“And so, what do I do then? Just suddenly pop up in his heaven space after all this time and say what exactly?” Cas asks, folding arms across her chest and shooting him a pointed look.

Jack blinks, says, “You could start with a ‘hello, Dean.’ Y’know, like, you do–“

”–in that low husky sexy voice of hers. Fuck, it makes me shiver so good.”

Cas jumps. She hasn’t heard Dean’s voice in so long. And suddenly, it’s echoing behind her. She almost has a fricking panic attack as she swirls around. Glares to herself when she sees the literal floating cloud above her head. Dean slotted inside, talking to Sam, looking far younger than when she left them for good to go with Jack.

She wasn’t even there for his death. A main reason for why she’s so hesitant to see him after all this time.

Cas swirls around, leaving the memory playing on the cloud like a movie being projected across a screen.

Behind her, Sam chuckles in the memory before she hears him say, “Dude, I don’t understand why you don’t just tell her how you feel about her. She’s not exactly a normal girl anyway, so, your usual excuses of not going for it won’t work this time.”

In that moment, Cas wonders why she ever disliked Sam in the slightest. It wasn’t even her jealousy. Of how Dean always put Sam before everyone. Even himself. The only thing that made her worry over Sam was him hurting Dean. Because he’s the only one who ever really could. That’s definitely one of the reasons...maybe.

“It’s not as easy as that, Sam. You just said, she’s not a normal girl. She’s a fricking angel, of all things. She probably doesn’t even fricking notice me in the slightest, let alone really see me like that. Hell, we don’t even know if angels do that kinda thing.”

Cas opens her mouth to tell Jack to stop now, but clamps it right back shut when Sam speaks up again.

“Maybe they can learn. Surely you’ve noticed the changes in Cas. I mean, sure, she’s still pretty much robotic, but you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how damn protective she is of you. And not in a guardian angel kinda way either. Not anymore. She cares about you, Dean. Really cares about you.”

Cas feels her heart ache a little when Dean comes back with a light scoff and says, “Yeah, sure she does. She cares so much she beat the absolute ever loving crap outta me for trying to save the world.”

Sam scoffs back louder and says, “Yeah, after she rebelled against everything and one she’s ever known just for you, you idiot. She’s still an angel and still a woman apparently, so yeah, she was upset.”

Cas finally turns and flushes her wings out. In one swipe, one graceful swirl back, the memory cloud shimmers out of existence. She turns back, sarcastic look on her face as she says, “Was that for Dean or Sam’s sake? Because it felt like you were trying to make me fall in love with the younger Winchester there.”

Jack laughs, nods, says, “OK, I can see how it looked that way.”

“Can I think about it, or do you need an answer now?” Cas finally asks after taking a deep breath and actually recounting all the words she just heard shared between the brothers. All words about her.

Jack shakes his head. “Decide when the decision comes to you. It’s a gift, Castiel. There to be taken when wanted. I cannot make people do things. It’s not my place, and it was never Chuck’s either. But I can do what Chuck never cared to. I can open doors for my children. But they’re the ones that have to make the choice of whether to walk through or not. Otherwise, what’s the point of anything?”

Cas nods once, sighs loudly.

Jack frowns softly, tilts his head as he says, “You’re worried he won’t be as happy to see you as you want him to be. As you will be to see him.”

Cas nods again. Doesn’t look worried, looks more certain as she says, “When I told him that I loved him, and that I had always loved him, he looked shocked...and rather uncomfortable. I wasn’t expecting him to say it back, of course I wasn’t. But I...”

Jack smiles softly as he says, “You wanted him to smile at least.”

Cas nods yet again, now feeling bummed out.

“Oh, Castiel.” Jack, this time, hides his knowing look when he says, “I’ll leave that door open for you. You just let me know when you decide, so I can close it.”

He leaves out, behind you, and also, leaves out the part where he already knows Dean’s decision.