why do I cut ?!

Love & Hate

I'm miserable I have lost so many loved ones lately !! and my haters are increasing in number ugh I hate that shit :'( ... people I love abounded me when they knew I'm suicidal !! they threatened me if I ddnt stop they will not be my friends anymore they thought they are helping but noooo they wrong they made feel more worthless .. hated even by people I love !! .. useless in this life ..they broke me even more !! ... i was left all by my own to get bullied and abused by bullyiers !! i lost 3guy best friends they were so close to me ... and 2 girl bffs .... n one boyfriend !!! i felt like I have hurted them that put me in more depression !! cause I thought I hurted them :'( .... my problem is that I'm so sensitive !! before I used to be so confident ... I was so happy !! I always believed in my self I always did actually with the help of Justin Bieber !! his songs inspired me to Never Say Never and to believe but not anymore actually :'( I'm weak !! tht I disgust my self !! I'm trying to stop cutting I swear I'm !! but bullyiers are everywhere ...I have been cyberbullied .. I have been physically bullied .. I have been through all kinds of bullying even I used to get threat letters ( death letters ) I had to delete my Twitter acc n facebook cause hackers got on it took my photos and Photoshoped it !! and post it online !! I have been harassed twice !! n almost raped once .. my dad always used to beat me up harshly since I was grade 3 until grade 8 ... yes I committed suicide twice n yes I cut n yes I burned myself twice !! I even cut before at skool actually my first cut was there !! I also Cutted at the mall too ... I have lots and lots of bad history and I m afraid of the future !! I simply hate my life .. I need love I need to be loved and feel loved is my wish so hard to come true .. I dunno I guess so :\ I'm BROKEN n I hate it !!

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probably worst chapter ever !! I'm so sorry if I disappointed you .. oh please it won't be my first time to disappoint someone :'(