Floating With Loki

Loki walks through the door to find you in a corner of the living room. You're rocking back and forth with headphones on watching a movie. You've been together for a while so he peaks over your shoulder to see which movie you're watching. Lilo and Stitch 'Oh no it's a bad day.' He thinks.

"Darling" he softly puts his hand on your shoulder and you jump, startled, you look up at him. There are tears in your eyes and you are visibly not doing okay. "Hi, I'm home. You're safe, do you need to play love?" He asks quietly with his arms around you. You just nod. "Are you nonverbal right now?" He puts out two hands and you grab the one you decided together means yes, in previous discussions. "Alright let's go to the bedroom." He picks you up and you wrap your arms and legs around him, taking deep breaths you try to regulate your body but it's not working. He sets you down in front of a small but comfortable chair in your room. "Kneel love." You do, you kneel in front of the chair, the familiar pressure in your knees makes you feel safe already.

He sits down and runs his hands through your hair and softly scratching your scalp. He kisses your hair and says "Everything is going to be okay love." He makes your favorite blindfold appear in his hand. "Are you ready darling?" You nod. He puts it gently over your eyes and everything goes dark, you can only feel his hands tying the blindfold around your head. He pulls your hair out over the tie and pulls it down to tilt your head up. Loki kisses your lips lovingly and slowly, calming you.

Loki makes your collar appear, though you can't see it, you know the pattern of these sessions. He places it around your neck and clasps it, the cool leather around your neck has you slipping further into your safe headspace. He puts his hand below your ear and rubs your cheek with his thumb. "Baby, do you remember our safe tap?" You nod. "Can you show me?" You slowly lift your hand and feel around to find his knee. You tap out SOS in Morse code with two fingers on his leg. "Good job love." He says rubbing your face. "You're doing so well my baby, are you ready for the headphones?" You nod, this is your favorite part. You bought custom headphones that are noise canceling and fit your ears perfectly. He connects them to his phone and starts playing your lo fi playlist. He puts them over your ears and your world quiets. You can't see or hear anything but the soft beats entering your ears, you feel Loki playing with your hair. He runs his hands through your hair and grabs a chunk of it and pulls gently resting your head against his knee. You are so far gone now you stay like this for a while, you have no sense of time but after about 3 songs Loki gets up.

He gets his ropes ready and begins to tie up your legs. He holds your back and lifts you so he can slip the rope under your legs. He continues to tie, binding your thighs and calves together. He makes sure there are two fingers of space under the ropes before he ties them off. He moves on to your arms, pulling your arms one over the other crossing them over your chest. He places his arm under one of your hands and taps your arm twice to ask how you are. You answer by tapping three fingers against his arm meaning green, and everything is okay. He finishes tying up your arms over your chest. When he's done he sits again placing his hand in your hair again, admiring his work. You're floating now, the pressure on your legs and arms, the limitations of your senses, and the kind warmth of Loki's hands. He pulls your hair so your head is resting in his lap.

After a while, he rubs your face and puts a water bottle up to your mouth. You drink and breathe. Being able to turn off like this is so calming to you. Loki takes such good care of you. He runs his fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp lightly, then kisses your head. You kneel here for hours, completely lost in the freedom of giving over complete control. The only thing you have to do is kneel.

Many hours since Loki came home he runs his thumb along your cheek. He starts to untie your arms and legs, massaging each appendage as it gets free. He turns on some soft music to fill the room so you aren't plunged into silence when he takes your headphones off. Loki is on one knee in front of you slowly working on removing your gear. He undoes your collar and rubs the skin under it gently. The last to come off is the blindfold, Loki cups your face in his hands and rests his forehead to yours. It pulls you forward bringing you slowly back into your body. He unties the blindfold and the soft light of the room enters your eyes. The first thing you see is Loki's face, he looks gentle and kind.

"How are you doing now my baby?" He whispers.

"Much better" you sign with your hands.

"Good love." He kiss your forehead. "I'm going to pick you up okay." You nod and put your head in the crook of his neck when he does. Loki bring you to the sofa and gently places you sitting up. "I'm going to bring you food and water, than we can cuddle. Does that sound alright?" He asks his voice calm and full of love.

"Yes please." You sign. You sit alone, focusing on your breathing for just for about 15 minutes. Loki walks in front of you and places a tray with ice water, your favorite fruits and veggies and cheese cut into small cubes. He has your favorite blanket on one shoulder and hands it to you. He picks you up again to move so you're sat on his lap. He uses his magic and moves the tray so it's over your lap.

"Your favorite snacks and cuddles love!" He says excitedly, his hands wrapped comfortably around you squeezing gently.

"Thank you so much." You sign and turn your head to kiss his face and rest your forehead against the side of his chin.

"Of course darling! Now let's eat shall we."

You eat and drink all that Loki brought you, when you finish he 'magics' the tray away and holds you while you sign what happened and why today was so bad. He comforts you and tells you

"My love I am always here for you. The world has thrown so much at you and you've had to deal with it all alone. You did a great job but you're not alone anymore. You're going to the therapist Stark recommended, and all of the Avengers are always behind you. And I, my love, I will be here through the good and bad, through anything we may encounter. I will be behind you through the far reaches of the nine realms and I will love you until the end of my days." He kisses the top of your head and hugs you tight, you feel eternally safe and loved. Things will be okay, you know because Loki will make sure of it.