mine too

14.

Pierre

I pulled up to Devyn's apartment after some time of us going back and forth texting one another. Yeah, I did a lil flirting here and there but it wasn't nun' too serious. Surprisingly, I'm more drawn to her personality the more I got to know her.

We were having dinner and I gotta say, this food is good as hell. One of the many things she told me when we were getting to know each other is that she loves to cook. I wanted to try her food so that's why I mainly came over in the first place.

"You got apple juice or sum'?" I asked, setting my fork back down on my plate before leaning back in my chair.

Devyn tilts her head at me in confusion before she burst into laughter. "Apple juice?"

I couldn't help but to mug at her. "I've been cutting back on beer. I love apple juice."

"You don't have to look at me like that, I think it's cute."

She gets up to walk into her kitchen that was right there. While she is busy doing that, I go to check my phone to see if I have heard anything back from the group chat.

Smiling to myself, I just put my phone down on the table just when Devyn comes back with a glass full of apple juice.

"What's got you in a good mood?"

"Nun'," I mumbled.

Devyn playfully nudged me. "Awe, you're dating anybody?"

I gave her a mug. "What? No."

She looks at me for a long while before she chuckles at me. "Why are you here? It's obvious you are dating someone. You keep checking your phone, and every time you will smile down at it before closing it."

Damn, she's reading me like a fuckin' book.

She could peep how accurate she was based on my expression. "What's their names? They gotta be special."

Sighing, I was thinking about not telling her until I just do. "Josiah and Tyree."

She puts both her hands underneath her chin with a smile on her face. "It's the three of you? I've never met anyone who was in a poly before."

I gave her a side eye. "We ain't dating, damn."

Her ass gets to smiling like the shit was so funny. "Might as well be. It's so obvious you like them. So, why aren't you dating them."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Because we ain't ready for allat yet."

"Don't you mean that you're not the one who's ready for that yet?" She asked, smirking.

I sucked my teeth at her comment, although she is right. "I don't know... That's a big step for me. I feel like if I get in a relationship, I feel like I would fuck up somehow. I fuck up a lot and that's why a lot of people can't take me serious."

Devyn takes a sip from outta her wine glass before setting it back down on the table. "Why do you think that you're a fuck up?"

There's a list of reasons why I think that. One being that I feel like I'm a disappointment and that I can't do anything right. Another being that I don't got nun' of my shit together at my age. The biggest reason of them all is that I'm a drug addict to sum it all up.

"I'm a disappointment to everyone," is all I say.

"Well, what is one thing you mainly want to work on?"