Displaced

Chapter 128

Sofie awoke that morning filled with the same emptiness that had pervaded her the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. It took her several hours before she finally managed to climb out of bed and get out into the world. Something just wasn't right.

The "what" was easy: she was stuck in a rut. They all were, it seemed, except maybe Gabby; it was clear something had happened between her and Chitra, though they seemed reticent to discuss it. This whole revelation that they were all bombs primed to explode didn't really break her out of said rut so much as it just added a countdown timer to it all. Little had changed other than the undercurrent of anxiety lurking beneath every moment of every day.

The "why", on the other hand, was much harder to answer. By many measures, she should feel great about things. Despite some unexpected complications, they had managed to rescue Mizuko without too much damage to the old woman or the machines. Their "damsel" didn't even seem that upset about their unannounced endeavor.

Meanwhile, work continued. It was too early to do more than the most long-term planning for the Stragman rescue operation, but others maintained their focus on progress toward the greater goal. Not Sofie, though. She'd already gone through everything in the various remaining archives and libraries in Otharia, searching for anything of use that Blake might have missed, but he'd been unfortunately thorough in his initial inspection. That left her with little to contribute.

Maybe that was it. Maybe she felt useless compared to everybody else. It wasn't like she had been contributing much to the cause before this, either. Without using her powers, she was just an ordinary person who lacked any real relevant knowledge or experience. The only thing she could really point to was that she was the one keeping Pari from blasting the fortress into a giant crater out of boredom. That was something, she supposed.

But then again, maybe there was more to her current malaise than a general feeling of inadequacy. The idea of actually returning home, something she'd once written off as impossible—and which still might be, but that was beside the point—filled Sofie with a rising tide of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she still greatly missed Earth and wanted to go back more than anything. On the other hand, not only would she lose several important and life-altering relationships, she'd leave behind a slate of projects forever unfinished—most notably, her efforts to educate the children of Otharia.

To be fair, she had not held a class in a good while—since the disaster with her powers had revealed the damage she'd unknowingly wrought upon her unwitting students, to be specific. The thought of facing those thousands of innocent children had mortified her for months, causing her to freeze up whenever she considered restarting the program. But, given time, she told herself, she'd be able to find a way. Now, however, it did not seem like she'd have that time.

Those lessons had been a net positive, she was certain. Sure, the nation's parents had opposed the idea of an Elseling gaining regular access to their children's minds, and the children hadn't seemed too hot on it either, but resistance on both fronts had greatly softened as the value of the lessons became apparent. Towards the end, she hadn't even needed Blake's robots to force the issue in most places. Now, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to start them up again, not with the knowledge that she'd ensorcelled them all and that she still didn't know how to undo the damage.

Trudging through the halls, Sofie wandered aimlessly for a while in search of something to do but found little. Arlette was too busy with her day job for any more planning sessions, and they'd exhausted every avenue for the moment, anyway; she didn't want to deal with Blake, and he needed to focus on solving the transversal problem; Gabby she hadn't seen in a few days; she'd just get in the way if she tried to help Leo or one of the other administrators; and Mizuko was out sightseeing somewhere in Otharia.