Displaced

Chapter 48

Though the same men that carried the litter into the city carried it back out, the ride felt bumpier this time. Perhaps it was all in Mizuko's head, a byproduct of the guilt currently roiling inside of her. One could argue that her guilt was not justified, or at least blown out of proportion when compared to her actions. After all, it wasn't like she'd known what would happen, and she sure hadn't chosen to hurt all those people. But she had hurt them all the same.

It seemed that every being within a large radius, one that stretched far beyond the castle where she'd slept and into the city proper, had shared her nightmare along with her. Those out on the fringe of the area of effect had simply experienced a powerful nightmare, but nothing more; the only real damage they had to worry about was whatever happened to their body if they had been standing during the event. But everybody unlucky enough to be closer had experienced more than just a scary nightmare. Those poor souls had gone through something for more potent, as if all the emotions within the dream were dialed up to eleven or beyond. It seemed that the closer the person was to Mizuko during the dream, the stronger the experience happened to be, the longer it took them to wake up, and the more damage their psyche sustained.

She kept coming back to their eyes, especially the eyes of the servant who she'd found just waking up. The terror in those eyes seemed nearly unhinged, as if they were looking at a horrible abomination instead of a frail elderly woman. She'd seen that same terror in the eyes of the soldiers surrounding her and even in the eyes of the princess herself. Those same noble eyes stared at her now from across the litter's cabin, a confusing mix of emotions visible within.

What the princess was doing sitting in this litter alone with Mizuko, instead of being a hundred kilometers away, the old woman could not fathom. She'd expected to be carted of in chains and thrown in a dungeon or maybe just killed on the spot, but neither of those things had happened, despite Votar's vociferous advocation. Why, she could not say. She wanted to ask, but words would not come out, stifled by her shame. She did not deserve to demand answers to anything right now.

"Tell me, Yamanaka," the princess said after about thirty minutes of awkward silence, "what should I do with you? You attacked my people after I took you in. You repaid my kindness with violence."

"Words cannot describe my shame," Mizuko replied. "I can only beg for your forgiveness." She felt the need to perform a dogeza even though she'd already done so back at the palace. Only the lack of space in the litter kept her from doing so again.

"But do you deserve it?" Pyria asked. "Everybody in the palace is worse off now than they were before, myself included. I jump at sudden noises, my heart races for no reason, I feel terrified in my own study... you even marked my face when I collapsed on the writing desk and knocked over my inkwell. But that is nothing compared to those unlucky enough to be the closest to you. Nobody in the guest wing has woken yet, Mizuko. For all we know, they may never wake. Even if I believe you that this was all an accident, what do I tell their families? I do believe that you feel true remorse over this disaster, but remorse will not help my people recover from the damage you inflicted."

Mizuko let out a sigh. "I want to make things right, but I don't know how."

"Do you truly seek redemption for your crime?"

"You... are you offering me a chance? Even after what I did to you?"

"A good ruler must be able to see past personal problems and grudges in order to find all possible means of advantage," the princess said as she rested her chin on steepled fingers. "Yamanaka, you might be the most powerful person in the world. Nobody else has an ability that can affect so large an area. Not even close. Drayhadal needs you. I need you."