𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 | 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿-𝗚𝘄𝗲𝗻 𝗫 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

(ATSV) STOP TRYING TO BE A GOD

As I wandered, reveling in how cool I was, according to Venom, I saw Peter walking with some kind of baby carrier.

Hobie: The Spider-Man of the humbling reality has arrived.

Miles greeted Peter with a hug.

Peter: Don't be scared, guys. My friend Miguel only looks scary... but he doesn't bite.

True, I forgot he's some sort of vampire.

Y/N: If I throw garlic at him and have a stake, will he be afraid of me?

Miguel: I heard that... And I'm not a vampire.

Y/N: Wh-What? Nothing!

Gwen laughed at my pathetic joke.

Peter: You're all growing up. Especially you, Miles.

Venom: You still look just as solid.

Peter: Ouch. Define "solid." And what happened to your suit, Miles? Are you bleeding from your armpits?

Y/N: Uh...

Peter: Don't worry about the suit. We'll get you a new one.

Miles: Peter, you have to tell them...

Miles then noticed the baby carrier that Peter was wearing.

Miles: Wait, what's that?

Suddenly, a baby swung by our side. And she had the same hair color as Mary Jane and Peter's eyes.

Miles: Baby. Do you have a baby?

Peter: I have a baby.

Y/N: Pf... Being a father is just having more overtime work.

Peter: Right, right. And don't you dare take off your little watch, sweetheart!

He shouted at his baby as she climbed.

Peter: She has one too. I didn't know they made them for adults. Give me a second.

Peter started climbing to reach his baby, who was getting further away.

Hobie: The girl is an anarchist.

Peter: I'm going to catch you. Here I come.

This is so pathetic... They're just obligated to commit to the adaptation.

Peter: Ha! Knew I would regret making that web shooter.

Peter said as he held his daughter.

Peter: I shouldn't have done it. That's a real mistake.

After that, Peter hugged us and asked if we wanted to see pictures of his baby.

"I mean, she's right here, so-" Gwen tried to stop Peter.

Peter continued showing us the photo, and soon Mayday crawled towards Miguel, catching Peter's attention.

Peter: Oh, Miguel is going to die on this.

Peter said, laughing, as Mayday sat on Miguel's shoulder.

Miguel: I'm trying to have a serious adult conversation here.

Miguel said as Mayday crawled over him.

Peter: You know, you're the only Spider-Man who's not funny. We're supposed to be funny!

Miguel: The fate of the multiverse...

Peter: You always lose me with that! You say, 'the fate of the multiverse,' and my brain shuts down!

Peter said in a hoarse voice as Miguel caught Mayday.

Peter: We are-

Peter then sniffed, holding Mayday. "Do you smell that? Mayday pooped. Yes, she's a Parker. That's what happens when a Parker eats avocado.