•Those Glossy Eyes•|| Bts FF|| Stepbrother + Mafia Au || ON HOLD ||

12. Her lost faith ....

•Previously•

" I don't want to be this sad ever again , I don't need them , I don't need a family , I am fine this way ".
She yelled.

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•Currently •
Hyun's Mansion,
Haerin's room,
3rd November, 2022
3:45am.

( Hugging her knees close to her breast the Hyun's young heiress sobbed while pulling her knees even closer to her chest , she couldn't help but cry, cry over her life , she stared at her side table but sitting up straight in an quick pace , she opened it before taking out an old blade which had some stains of blood on them , she glanced at it as an bitter smile made its way towards her lips .)

"It's been soo long , that I have used you now , but now I guess I will be using you frequently".
( Said Haerin while giggles left her mouth as fresh tears stained her cheeks )

(Making her way towards the bathroom, she stared at the wash basin in front of her ,while placing the old rusted blade on her wrist , a small yet shaky whimper escaped her lips as the cold metal came in contact with her warm skin which was now covered with small drops of sweat , with shaking hands and tears stained cheeks , she moved blade harshly over her wrist as blood flowed out her wrist ,as she did the same again and again while her tears never stopped flowing and soon enough she stopped as she washed the blade while cleaning the blood on her wrist as she blowed air on her wrist when it Stinged )

"O-one , tw-o , t-h-ree , four , f-ive ,s-ix, se-ven ,eight , woah i made less cuts than before ".
( She mumbled as she counted the fresh wounds she made herself , while she laughed at herself , she hated being pathetic, she hated being dependent, she hated being so vurnuable, but that's how she she was right now , she wasn't the Haerin which the world knew , she was the Haerin who was only known by herself, she could only be herself when she was alone .)

" Oh gosh, how stupid you are Haerin , how could you even think that you are ever going to happy , you can't be happy you are a curse and always will be ".
( She mumbled the last words as she remembered , how everyone blamed her for everything which she never did , she had slowly started feeling numb and emotionless, she wasn't changing, she was developing herself , she wasn't as fragile and tender as she was back then , she was mentally strong and good at hiding her emotions, she was perfect in everyone's eyes but worst in her own hazel grey ones , she had many insecurities, yet she never took them seriously until that day which surely ruined her life after her father's and oppa's death)

" Oh , fvck you bitch ,you don't deserve to live ".

" You are just a burden ".

"No one will ever love you ".

"You are just a curse on your family".