Angels Fly

1. Won't You Stay Til The A.M.

Louis was going to face his worst fear. And it wasn't even dying. The illness he had wasn't even as bothersome as this.

His blue eyes glanced at Harry- who had been there since day one. He realized a long time ago how safe his atmosphere was when Harry was around.

It was like everything disappears and maybe for the time being- at least for now - he felt no guilt, no heartache or heartbreak for that matter.

He didn't think about the fact that Harry and he may not ever have a family together. Did it hurt? Of course, it did. It brought tears to his eyes knowing that little Hazza's and tiny Tommo's wouldn't be running around the house they would be claiming as their own.

"You're awake." Harry says stirring a bit, he didn't even know what time it was, but judging by the dimness in the room he knew it was pretty early.

"I never fell asleep." Louis admits, almost regretting it.

Harry only stretches again,  sighing deeply. Louis had issues sleeping for several weeks now, and it was due to the constant chemotherapy he had been receiving.

        "Do you want me to sit beside you?" Harry raised a question,  modest easily heard in his tone. He knew Louis valued quality time, and would only sleep if he was being cuddled. Well- not exactly.

Louis only nodded his head and a quiet but exceptionally noticeable whimper was heard. His eyes blurred in tears and it was quite obvious he wasn't strong for Harry anymore.

          "It's not fair." Louis sobs, hiding his face in Harrys warm embrace. "Why can't I just get better 'arry?" His voice breaking at the end. "It's m-my job...  To care for you... To love you... Until the end. This shouldn't have to be the end."

Harry bit his lip, to hopefully ignore the tears threatening to leave. "Hey... Hey, it'll be alright, you know? You're the toughest lad I know."

Louis sniffles, gripping Harry in a hug, he didn't want to ever let him go. His heart ached whenever they were apart and his symptoms seemed less tolerable when Harry's arms weren't embracing him in a hug.

Wet eyelashes, had Louis looking the most vulnerable now and he hated for Harry to see him like this, what happened to him being Harry's Superman? Nothing hardly affected him when he was healthy... Now it's like the smallest sneeze made him inadequate for daily living. 

          "Louis... " Harry sighs wishing he had the answer to fix the problem. But truthfully with all that had gone on in just a few weeks, it seemed near impossible to get Louis to smile.  "C'mon love, it's gonna be alright." His words were probably as beneficial as the dreadful excuse of dinner they supplied the patients with.

       "Ehm... Why don't we watch a film, maybe Disney? You like that don't you?" Harry seemed cautious- he didn't know why, he wanted Louis happy that's all it boiled down to. And his eyes watered a bit when Louis nodded.

      "You wanna watch Toy Story or Up?" Louis was a bit zoned out and didn't hear everything Harry had said.  And before he could ask his coughing fits began again.

Harry sniffles, seeing red. And it troubled him, Louis and he were so happy just now, getting to watch a film together, and now this?

      "Mr Styles?" The doctor spoke in a soft tone. "Could I please ask you to step out of the room?

Harry felt his heart sink to the depths of the earth. Where lava and coal simmered at it's best. "Yeah..." he mumbled instead, trying not to break down right then and there but it felt like the most difficult task.

~.~

Guilt ate Harry alive, watching the doctor check on Louis and as he saw the blue eyes fade into sadness he knew that it wouldn't be long til he would break down in cries.
      
           "Why do you do this to me?!" Harry screamed at the bathroom mirror. It was so fucked up how truly alone he felt as to have to yell at his own reflection. "You could have done something! But no, you had to let him get like this- he's so far beyond repair and it's all your fault. Listen to yourself you couldn't handle the truth and you still can't."

Of course it was all in his head. Talking to mirrors was probably from the lack of sleep. If Lou didn't sleep he didn't either, or at least that's what he had picked up on - at least in the last few days.

            "AHH!" Harry finally snapped all the pain, anger, guilt and remorse coming out all at once and he slams his fist against the mirror. Then a second time. And his knuckles were bloody. Did he care, probably not, it didn't matter. "I. Can't. Do. This." Harry sobs having to hold onto the porcelain sink to keep steady.

             "Harry...?" Louis walked into the entrance of the bathroom,  he wasn't supposed to be out of be but he had sensed something was wrong. "Harry... Stop." Louis frowned pulling the lad away from the sink and into his weakened body. He didn't care, remaining strong for Harry was all he wanted.

           "You should be in bed... Your... The blood.... You were coughing and I..." Harry says through breathy sobs. "You can't... You can't leave your bed Lou... It's... It's dangerous what if you fell and nobody knew?"

Louis smiles sadly. Pathetic, he thought to himself. Even Harry seen him as weak. "I can't believe you don't believe in me anymore... You used to have so much faith in me. Now I'm a fuckin ceramic doll to you!" Louis wasn't angered at Harry even if it seemed like it. Louis took in a deep breath, before giving Harry a gentle squeeze. "Can we talk please?" I feel like all we do is argue now..."

Harry took Louis's hand in his own trying to hold back a flood gate of tears but the inevitable was bound to happen. "I love you... Harry spoke in a small whimper. We'll get through this. Just you and me yeah?" Harry's heart thudded in his own chest loving how close he and Louis were right now.

If it was any indication, Harry did bruise his hand severely and did in fact need bandages. But he was laying with his baby and truthfully that's all that really mattered. As Friends played on the telly, Harry observed Louis's eyes get heavier and he fell asleep. 

Linked hands with Louis and memories played in Harrys mind. He feared losing the man he laid with every night. Sex wasn't something he truly longed for but he did miss it. He enjoyed making love with Louis and hearing his moans that the neighbors complained about for ages.

Probably because they couldn't get some. Thoughts went to the nights where Louis had him deep in the mattress and had him creaming the sheets. He couldn't shake the feeling of wanting that again. Intimacy.  The feeling of being wanted, desired and needed.  again.

           " 'arry?" Louis spoke in a soft moan. "Why 're you touching me thigh?" he whimpered curling a bit into the blankets.

Shit... Was he really doing that? He didn't mean to. A deep sigh was heard and he shook his head. "Sorry Lou... Go back to sleep yeah?"

Instead, his love, sat up and blushed. "I think I could get you off if you like? My mouth still works you know? Just cause my lungs suck doesn't mean I can't blow you. "

That made Harrys dick soak through his own boxers. "You can't... Just say stuff like that. He says in a whine. Daddy..."

It didn't take Louis long after that- to get Harry good and ready. "You want this... Don't you baby... Just me? Nobody does it like I do."

Harry swallowed now, he felt like his tongue was trapped and he was unable to speak.  The words Louis had spoken when they first began sleeping together played in his head- ''Won't you stay til AM? And he would reply with a simple nod and it was obvious that neither of them slept that night.

Thank you for reading my fanfic, I know it's taken me forever but I finally updated and I'm so excited to write more!! Hope you enjoyed it, thank you again, I appreciate you all. 💜💜