Who We Were

Nine

I looked at the keys in my hand, playing with his key chains slowly. He'd left me here, heading to get snacks and drinks whilst I got somewhat comfortable in the car and I was already on high alert. Sweaty palms and my heart racing. I took slow deep breathes, moving myself slowly and focusing on one thing at a time. Nice and easy. We weren't moving. I had the keys. He couldn't go anywhere until I was ready. That's why he gave them to you Ari. I shuffled, tugging on the seatbelt and tightening it, sitting back and closing my eyes. Pin pointing all the places in my body this anxiety was sitting in my body.

Slowly. A little bit at a time. Fingers. I was picking at nail polish, biting on finger nails. Sweaty palms. Shaky arms. The pain in my back wasn't as bad though that's good I guess. Maybe I just couldn't notice it amongst everything else. Three gentle knocks on the window, brought me out of my body and into the car again, the door opening slowly.

"Hey."

"Hi." I looked up at him

"I got snacks, drinks without caffeine and tissues." He slipped in carefully. "I'm due my meds."

"Okay. You got them?"

"Mhm." I nodded, pulling my bag up onto my knee, shifting through my bag for them. I tipped them into my hands, taking the bottle of pop from his hands.

"What do they do?" I smiled, turning in the chair slightly.

"Anxiety, pain, pain, pain, anti-inflammatory, pain."

"Pain?" I nodded.

"My back mainly. It's all healed up but it's chronic pain now. I have a different set in a morning, and then throw in a sleeping pill on a night if I need it. Honestly, pretty sure if someone picked me up and shook me that I'd sound like a maraca." He chuckled, watching as I took them 2 at a time without hesitation.

"How often do you take them?"

"Pain meds every 4 hours. The anxiety ones just when I need them. We put them in for every dose but I only take it if I've got a drive to make or something. I can take 3 in a 24 hour period. Before I leave for school, before I go home and then if I need to go out or anything."

"I've not seen you take a pill before Joel picked you up before."

"I take it in the car normally, he'll drive around the corner and pull up until it kicks in."

"I see why you guys get on so well."

"Oh, he's great. Barely left my side whilst I was out. My parents had to keep taking him home and when they left the whole group was on Joel watch. He kept sneaking out just to sit with me. Read to me all the news headlines, brought some of my books and read them too, talked to me about everything and nothing. It was hard on them all."

"I bet it was." A comfortable silence fell between us as I turned my attention back to the keys, sighing, I handed them over to him. "You ready?"

"I think so." He moved slowly, turning the key in the ignition but not moving.

"Nice and slow Ari. You tell me if we need to stop and I'll pull over the second we can okay?" I nodded, reaching for his hand. "What's the paper on that you were struggling with earlier?" I closed my eyes, sitting back in the seat and telling him about the paper in as much detail as I could muster. Using it as the best way to distract myself. He questioned, pushing for more details, tracing his thumb on the back of my hand and slowly, my breathing eased.

"Where did you want to take me tomorrow?"

"If you can manage it, there's a restaurant near me I think you'd love. And then I was going to ask you to educate me on High School Musical."

"Really?"

"Mhm." He nodded quickly and I turned my head to look at him. "I was honestly going to ask you to stay the night. We can watch them all. I'm sure you'll have me converted by the end."

"I still can't believe you haven't seen them. What other classics have you not seen?"

"I don't know. There's too many to run off."

"Mamma Mia?"

"No." I gasped.

"Legally Blonde?"

"What?"

"You don't- Dirty Dancing? Grease? John Tucker Must Die?"

"That last one sounds good." I rolled my eyes.

"It's not an action. 4 girls find out John has been dating them all at the same time so they take revenge on him."

"Oh. I take it back then."

"It's really good!"

"Better than High School Musical?"

"No. Nothing beats that." He chuckled, bringing my hand up to his lips, placing a few soft kisses on the back before resting them in the middle of the car. "At least tell me you've seen Shrek."

"Yes."

"Okay. Thank God. What about the Incredibles?"

"I might have done. Is that the cartoon one with the red suits?"

"Yeah. You've seen that. Mean Girls?"

"Oh! On Wednesdays, we wear pink!"

"YES!" I was genuinely so fucking proud of him for knowing Mean Girls. Something so stupid. He laughed at my reaction, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

"How you holding up?" I looked back at the road, turning back in my seat and thinking for a second.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I feel okay. Anxious but manageable."

"Okay, I'll keep driving then." I nodded.

I was perfectly happy with him like this. More so than I was with any of the group, including Joel. I felt relaxed and calm in a way I hadn't in a card in a while. He was providing adequate distractions but not so much that I was blanking out the fact I was in the car and honestly, the longer I was in here, the prouder I got of myself and the more I wanted him to keep going. So, he did. Every few minutes I sent Joel a thumbs up emoji so he knew I was good but other than that, there was no further mention of the accident or my meds or anything.

Just us.

2 completely sane, normal people driving around the city as the sun set.