Bad Idea • Wolfstar

Chapter 1

Pancake batter splatters the kitchen walls, ceiling, and floor as Madeline's hands shoot up to her mouth in shock. "Uh-oh."

Sirius sleepily appears in the doorframe with his tie hanging untied around his neck. "Uh-oh indeed."

"Daddy!" she gasps, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was only going to make you breakfast and..."

His eyes trail to the wand she clutches tightly in her tiny hand. She frowns as she looks down at it as well. "I just wanted to be like you."

His stern expression drops when he sees the tears in her eyes. "Maddie... I'm not mad. Just, don't touch my wand again. It's dangerous, and I don't want you hurting yourself."

She sighs in relief, but a few tears escape the corners of her eyes. "Happy Birthday."

He grins at her. "Thank you. Now, sweetie, toss over my wand so I can clean up, and then we can make pancakes together, yeah?"

A tiny fist rubs her left eyes as she sniffles away the last bit of embarrassment. "Yeah."

Sirius flicks all the batter away with a simple flourish of the wand, and, because he hates using magic on her, he takes a towel to Madeline's splattered skin, rubbing her arms ever so delicately for fear of shattering her. As he does so, he wonders if all single fathers have such a strong protection over their children.

"What are you going to do today for your birthday?" Madeline asks once they start up a new batch of batter.

Sirius hums as his daughter ferociously whisk the egg, milk, and powder combo. "Work."

She wrinkles her nose with distaste but doesn't turn away from her task. "That's boring. Aren't you going to have a party?"

"I'm too old for parties."

"You're not that old."

"Sure I am. I have taxes and everything."

She bites her lip. "Are you going to see mom?"

A lump forms in Sirius' throat, yet he puts on a fake smile. "No, I don't think I will."

Maddie frowns. "Why don't you love each other anymore?"

Sirius sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "It's... hard to explain."

Maybe to a child, his own daughter, it is, but for any other adult, it can be summed up in a few words: I'm gay.

Marlene was so utterly heartbroken to say the least. He hated every painful second of her crying in his arms because it hurt him too. It hurt that he waited this long, after she has already fallen in love with him, to admit the stinging truth. In his defense, he has just realized it himself.

It was a slow progression of thoughts that started in his sixth year. So he got off to blokes, so what? He still liked girls. He still thought they were beautiful. He brainwashed himself into that, into dating Marlene seventh year. They lasted until their daughter's fourth birthday when he realized, to his horror, that he likes blokes. Maybe it was because of how he got a hard on for their neighbor when his hand had rubbed against the front of Sirius' trousers. Perhaps it was the fact that that night, he couldn't get it up for her, but once he thought about a bloke, it sprang right up.

But all of these things could not be told to a five-year-old girl, a girl so pure and innocent and so full of love.

"Can we make them heart shaped?" Madeline asks, tearing Sirius away from his thoughts.

He checks the clock on the oven. "Sorry, sweetie, but it's your first day, and we're already a bit behind schedule. Perhaps another time?"

"Breakfast on the go then?" she sighs.

He kisses the top of he head. "I'm sorry. Go change out your pajamas and get your things together while I pack your lunch and get these made. I promise we'll make them whatever shape you want next time."

She nods, a sad look still in her eyes, and bounces off to her room. Sirius lets out a sigh of anguish as he multitasks the next few minutes of their morning. As he double-checks her lunchbox to make sure he's packed a juice box, he plays his schedule in his head.

Drop Madeline off at Wizard grade school, work, remind Marlene several times through the day to remember to pick up Madeline, work some more, call Marlene to make sure Madeline is with her, head to James' for some birthday drinking, and before going to sleep, check one last time to make sure Madeline is okay.

School. It's as if she was just in diapers, but now she's a growing girl going into the real word without a life preserver. Tomorrow she may be twelve, the awkward pre-teen phase where he prays she starts her lady time with Marlene. The day after she'll be sixteen and going on dates. A week or two later, she'll be getting married, Sirius walking her down the aisle.

"It's just kindergarten," he assures himself, but he can't help the sad smile that crosses his face when his little girl hops into the kitchen with hair in lopsided pigtails, brown stockings, and a tan jumper that's obviously way too big for her.

"I'm all ready!"

"Yeah, you are." He crouches down and pulls her pigtails out, and pulls all her hair into one mass. He ties it and she pouts. "One day you'll be able to do this yourself. Today is not that day."

"Lunch?"

He sprouts back up to normal height and hands over her Little Mermaid tin lunchbox.

"Pancakes?"

He flips the last one in a to go plate, pours a bit of syrup on the small stack, and hands them over as well.

"Good to go?" he asks in mock seriousness.

She salutes him. "I'm ready to knock'em dead!"

They fist bump and race each other to the car, Sirius ending up stating he lost solely because of the fact his tie flew off his neck.

Hey this is my new Wolfstar book.

Okay that's it.

Bye :)

- Victoria C: