Chuyện là hôm qua mình luyện viết anh ngữ, bí quá không biết viết gì xong mới nhớ ra truyện 101 Cách Viết Thư Tình Tán Lớp Trưởng của daibong309 , hơi bị cuồng nên làm thành vài dòng ngắn dựa trên truyện.
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I have decided. I need to kill my class president.
Well, not technically killing him, just completely and utterly destroying his life. That bastard gets on my nerve.
Out of everyone, he picks me, always me. One shouldn't think being the chosen one is this irritating. When the whole class is talking, he shushes only me. When I have my uniform slightly wrong, he comes right at me. When I wears light pink lip gloss (not even full-on matte red), he tells me to wipe it off, or I'll be sorry.
Seriously, why hasn't anyone stabbed him yet?
Because he picks me, and only me. Everyone else, he sucks up to them like a vacuum to a dusty carpet. Being the coward as I am, I hardly have anything against him, only my womanly wiles and charm - which is why I have decided. I'm going to seduce him and dump him right after, so he'll be totally miserable.
Seriously, why am I such a genius?
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I start to go on the Internet. His name is Dang, but dang does he ever post. This is good for him, actually, because who knows what kind of people out there who might use his information against him. Not good for me, though, because I'm the one who will use his information against him.
Feeling a little defeated, but I'm not about to give up. I open his message, blood coursing to my finger to write this definitely real love confession. People often say that, the more you say it, the more it rings true.
I type down.
"Hoang Nhat Dang,
I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you..."
I look at my masterpiece. 200 words, filling to the brim with loving affection. The word count hits the exact minimum of a social issue essay.
Yuno Gasai would be proud.
I hit the "send" button, feeling more than ever happy about my work.
The next day, Dang shuts down his account, telling everyone that he has a stalker in his inbox.