Glassy Dreams

Chapter 8

“Uss mitti me ladna jhagadna,
Tujhe chukar thoda theherna,
Mujhe lauta uss mitti ki khushboo,
Bus mud ja mai ab bhi yha hu”

Nandini fidgeted with her hands as she sat on the beige sofa of the waiting room. Her hands were clammy, she could feel the sweat dribbling along her spine. Her anxiety was rising, but she didn't know what else to do. There was no one else she could think of who would hear her and answer her and not hate her. She hated herself enough as it is, she didn't know if she could explain the people who knew her before the tragedy she had become now how and why that hatred had become the focal point of her existence.

"Nandini Murthy?", Nandini looked up when the receptionist called her name. The young woman who looked almost her age, gave her a warm smile, "Mam will see you now".

Nandini stood up and nodded, and then made her way inside. The room was spacious, she noticed. There was a L shaped sofa on one side, huge open windows on the wall beside it. The gentle breeze made the atmosphere comforting. And another sofa sat opposite to the former. There were two small tables beside each sofa. The one near the L shaped sofa had an unopened water bottle, a tissue box, few chocolate bars and a notebook. The one near the other sofa was bigger, but had the same emnities, plus a few pens and highlighters. Bookshelves were mounted on one of the wall, and an abstract painting hung on the other.

Nandini's eyes met Jaya's who was sitting on the opposite sofa, looking at her and she forced a smile, but older woman shook her head with understanding eyes, gesturing to the L shaped sofa. Nandini took a deep breath and sat down, taking a minute to process what she was doing.

"It's good to see you Nandini", Jaya greeted first, and Nandini looked up, the kind smile on the woman's face comforting. She nodded, hesitant and unsure of what she was here for, what she wanted to share, what she could share.

"I am sorry to pop on such short notice", she began, "I just -", she paused, blinking back tears, "I needed some help but I didn't - ", she left the sentence incomplete, Manik's words were still ringing in her ears.

"You took my music away from me Nandini"

"YOU took MY MUSIC AWAY from me Nandini"

"YOU....MY MUSIC....AWAY"

"MUSIC....AWAY"

"Nandini?", she jumped at the voice, her haze clearing as she looked up and found the older woman's wise gaze fixed on her.

"Yes I am sorry, I tend to -", she swallowed, unsure of how to explain.

"Zone out", Jaya smiled, filling for her, a knowing look in her eyes and Nandini stayed silent, not adding anything.

They both sat silently for a few minutes, Nandini trying to gather her thoughts and Jaya giving her that time to articulate exactly those, but studying her all the same meanwhile. She had taken one look at Nandini, on the beach so many days ago and instinctively knew she would need help. That was the only reason she had offered her a card and an open opportunity herself. But she wasn't sure Nandini would take that out. Most people who needed help never really are aware themselves until they are dangling down that last ledge of sanity.

Nandini too, didn't look like she was aware of how bad she was drowning. And from years of experience Jaya knew that Nandini wasn't going to even attempt to save herself until she had a push that rattled her core. Until she was just a step from falling down that ledge of her mind, and had something she needed to stay afloat for.

When her assistant had informed her of a certain Nandini Murthy waiting in the reception area this morning, Jaya realized Nandini had finally found something she needed to keep surviving for, and right now seeing the struggle in her eyes, she knew she had been right.