Always you

04 Hurt

TW: angst, abuse, violence and gaslighting are mentioned/implied

~~~

The heat of a body so close to his made him shiver. It wasn't just the closeness but the awkward shy smile on Jay's face that made his mind go crazy. How in the world could someone look so innocent and hot at the same time? It almost drove Cole crazy that those beautiful, sparkling blue eyes were directed at him. Mhhh and those peachy lips, expectantly trembling, begging to be kissed ...

But the moment was anything but perfect, since they were hanging on a steep mountain, with almost no security. Jay's rope was torn and Cole pressed his best friend against his own body to prevent him from from falling approximately 1000 feet into the depth.

"Why don't you just kiss me?" Jay whispered.

"I can't!" Cole's voice was nothing more than a breath. His head spun and even when he wanted to give in, he simply couldn't. He was everything that held Jay back from falling. One careless moment, a tiny mistake and ...

"No, I really can't," he answered a bit louder and every cell in his body growled in pain. This was everything he had ever wanted and now he had to be strong and refuse.

"So let me go then," Jay demanded and pushed Cole away.

The sudden movement took his breath and made him weak. A second, a failure ... and Jay was gone.

Adrenaline rushed in his ears and his body felt hot and cold at the same time while he himself let the rope go and followed his best friend into the night. A darkness, so deep he couldn't even see the other boy anymore, nor the mountain or the ground. There was nothing left than darkness.

"Jay!" he yelled in desperation, but there was no answer. "Jay!" he yelled again, and again and again but his best friend was gone.

And soon he would be gone too. The ground couldn't be far away anymore, but since there was no wind, Cole wasn't sure if he was falling at all. Maybe he was already dead?

Darkness. Everywhere. It kept crawling into his chest and numbed the pain, choked his voice and left nothing but agony.

He awoke with a racing heart and didn't know where he was. What kind of fabric was that, right in front of his eyes? And why didn't he hear the familiar sounds of the monastery?

It took him a few seconds to realize that he wasn't at home at all. Instead he was laying on the ground in his tent and everything that just had happened, had been nothing more than a terrible nightmare. One of that nasty dreams that felt so incredibly real, that his heart couldn't simply calm down even now, after he had realized that it had been nothing but a dream.

His head jerked to the side and his hand searched for Jay's body, but the place next to him was empty.

The horrifying feeling of an ongoing nightmare hit him and he jumped up, ran out of the tent and almost tripped over something that lay on the ground near the entrance.

"Damn it!" he cursed and the strange dark thing he almost had fallen over, jumped up and made a funny, half choking noise.

"What happened?" A sleepy voice muttered and a pair of blue eyes searched for any danger around him.

"What the heck are you doing here?" the black ninja yelled.

"I was sleeping under the stars, duh," Jay grunted.

A wave of gratitude rolled through his chest and without thinking about consequences, Cole crashed down next to Jay and pulled him into a tight embrace. "You stupid zap trap! How dare you just let go of me, huh?"