Kodokuna Ai ( lonely love )

chapter 1 : The ex best friend
: You're going to be fine I mutter into my hands while I sit in the stall in the girls restroom trying to be as quiet as possible . This could be way worse I think to myself, he's just a boy you'll find someone new, I think as I wipe away The remaining tears off my face and exit the bathroom stall. I look at my face in the bathroom mirror and think there's no way he would like me . I stare at my aqua green hair ,and chubby cheeks ,and roundish figure . What was I thinking no boy would like me at least not in my school. I shake my head I really shouldn't think like that I always have to look at the positive side I mean I'm not the biggest girl in the school but sometimes I think I am and it feels like people are staring at me judging me. I put away these thoughts and exit the bathroom and start to head to third period . As I walk to third period my combat boots make tapping sound every time I take a step making me feel even more self-conscious and making me walk even slower so no one will hear the tap of my shoes . I finally get to the third period class and open the door, and the first thing I see is my old best friend looking down at his phone I try to ignore him and trying not to look his way instead I look at the teacher and smile as she smiles back trying to give a friendly vibe even though she was surrounded by loud 10th graders that were ignoring her . I sit down in my seat and start to look at the board but I could fill someone staring at me but I wasn't going to give him the benefit of looking towards him. I try to focus on class but I felt the dark filling in the back of my head his staring at me was making me self-conscious even more than I already was I finally just put my head on my desk so I wouldn't have to deal with it and I begun to doze off like I always always did when I was really bored. I was awoken by the bell and the sound of kids rushing to door trying to get to their next class.I waited on them I didn't want to get crushed and I wasn't exactly tall enough to move people out of my way. As the last kid left I began walking towards the door seeing my friend waiting for me. My best friend wasn't exactly normal her name was Ellain and she looks like she just came out of an anime she had tannish skin and usually wore a School uniform which we didn't have to wear because we're in public school. She wore navy blue sweater with the Oran high school host club emblem She had ironed on to the left side of her sweater near her chest and she wore a white polo with a black tie underneath her sweater and a mini skirt that just hit her knee and black kneesocks and she had little black shoes with bows . Her hair was purple on top and faded into a sky blue which looked quite good on her she was the total opposite of me when she wore skirts I wore gray pants and a black shirt and I usually wore combat boots that went all the way to my knee and while Ellain hair was neat and short mine was long and stuck out in places, but we did have are similarities we both watched and anime and we both have Social anxiety and we're both depressed. Neither of us really like to talk about are depression but are depression is not A cry for attention we both dealt with things and we both feel that we can only talk to each other about our depression , Ellain was bullied as a child and tried to deal with it with a smile as if it was totally fine and thought other people had it worse which gave her anxiety as a young adult , while I was molested when I was 9 by my uncle who died a few years back and I am now going threw depression because of it and have mental issues and I can't trust men because of it . Even though we have these problem both me and Ellain Both act happy and try to keep it bundled up inside . "Hi Natalie"
She says to me with a big smile . I smile back at her "Hi Ellain " I take her arm and we begin to head to class,as we walk to are next period we talk about are classes ,and the latest shows we've watched ,and we talk about how annoying the other students are with there loud talking how they always stand in the hall way and get in the way of others trying to get to class and as I'm ranting to her I see a glint of pink hair pass me and I stop mid sentence and look back trying to find the one who owned it but they had already gone without a trace . The pink hair was still on my mind during lunch while me on my friends ate and I continued to think about the pink hair on my walk home wondering who could be the owner of the pink hair . When I woke up the next morning I was still thinking about the pink care who could it be and why have I never noticed them I was determined to find out who it was .
Chapter two : The boy with the pink hair : all that morning I had looked for the pink care hoping to catch a glimpse of the owner with no luck. Maybe I just imagined the pink hair I tried to shake it off and just and just believe I was seeing thing and the thought of the pink hair left my mind until after 3rd period when I saw my friend Tammy standing alone in the hallway looking for someone. I walked up to her what are you doing waiting for I asked she smiled and me "a friend "she said still looking around " okay I'll wait with you"I told her standing next to her. We made it a few minutes and then suddenly I saw him he had light pink fluffy hair they can look like cotton candy,his eyes look like Hersheys chocolate and his skin was as pale as Ivory he wore gray shirt ,with dark blue jeans ,and brown cowboy boots that made him a few inches taller than he actually was. This is who I was searching for the owner the pink hair . As I continue to look at him the darkness in the back of my mind started to fade and I felt myself start to smile.