Strange Æons / Classically Abby UTTER CHAOS

buckle your seat belts, you're in for a ride

A/N  Sorry for any typos or bad grammar/punctunctuation. I have dyslexia, and the only reason I was able to write this in the first place is because of the blessing that is voice to text technology.

A/N Here's a link to a video describing dyslexia if you don't know what it is and so choose to learn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zafiGBrFkRM 

Strange was simply walking down the street. It was early in the morning and she needed her morning coffee. She was hedging towards the local cafe when she saw a small child that looked lost. "Where are your parents?" she said to the child. The child looked at her confused and said, "you look like a banana." He started to laugh hysterically and asked her if she knew the male man. It was now her time to be confused. "No. I don't know the mailman. I'm trying to help you get home. Do you ever want to see your mom again? If you do, then let me help you." She exclaimed in a frustrated tone. She was even more surprised when the boy yelled "stranger danger!!" and then ran away head first into a tree. The kid fell to the ground unconscious. The EMT's ran out of the bushes and poured Pepto-Bismol on his face. Strange rolled her eye and walked away. 'Maybe if the kid wasn't such a brat' she thought.

As she walked she kept stepping in puddles of onions. She HATED onions, and was annoyed that they kept getting on her shoes. She was worried she might smell like onions when she got to the cafe. Suddenly a man made of onions descended from the sky and ask her if she would like teeth in her vagina. She was filled with rage and stuck her middle finger up at this man of onions. "Curse you onion man" she exclaimed. And the man disintegrated to dust. (Thanos Style)

Suddenly it started to rain Pepto-Bismol, and the onions dissolved at her feet. Strange looked up and opened her mouth as wide as she could. She opened her mouth to the size of a dinner plate and started gathering Pepto-Bismol to save for later. Gerard Way walks out of nowhere and she chokes on the Pepto Bismol soup she had gathered in her mouth. He was wearing a clown suit and gave her an urgent quest. "You must kill Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. She's the one who murdered Mikey."

"But why would she kill Mikey? She absolutely loves your band. Wouldn't she kidnap him instead?" Strange yelled. The rain was so heavy they could barely hear each other. Gerard said nothing more and only held out an ornate dagger with the three letters MCR engraved in the handle. She took the dagger and inspected it closely. When she looked up Gerard was gone.

She set off on her quest to Hogwarts. And halfway there she met a sea serpent that was incredibly long. It was the longest Furby she had ever seen. As she battled the Furby Serpent she asked it for its name. "Tuesday Thunder God!" it responded. Strange was shocked. It was Thursdays brother! "Abra Kadabra!" she shouted. Thursday appeared with a bang. Exactly as Strange had planned, he used his radiation laser eyes and battled his brother. Soon enough, Thursday yells "I banish thee to the land, in the desert you shall drown." His brother disappears.

(Thursday's brother is a sea serpent so without water he would drown)

Strange continued to travel to Hogwarts. When she got there she saw ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way making out with Draco. She walked up behind her and stabbed her in the back 58 times. Ebony turns around "You stupid f****** prep!" She shouted and pulled out her wand. "How f****** dare you!" She cast the killing curse but nothing happened. Strange was immune. She pulled out her wand and stabbed Ebony in the gut with the wand. Ebony dropped to the ground dead. Finally paying the price for killing Mikey.

Suddenly the sun went down in the blink of an eye. And the moon shined bright with the Tumblr logo. So bright in fact that it might as well have been day. Strange began to levitate And ascended to the heavens where only Tumblr users could go. Everyone else went to purgatory until they made a Tumblr account. Bingus, the God of all, said to her, "You have done well mother. Now give me food or I shall annoy you until you do so." "No, I fed you not 2 hours ago. You are a little bastard man who only wants sleep, play and food." She retorted. "How dare you mother. I shall never forgive you for this."

Strang suddenly woke up to Bingus swatting her in the face In an attempt to get her to give him breakfast. She rolled over to see her wife Classically Abby, She didn't want to wake her up as she was classically sleeping. Strange got out of bed and fed the cats. she went through her morning routine. She had taken her first sip of coffee when her classic wife classically walked into the room. "Good morning dear." she said, smiling classically. 

A/N I am so sorry