Stars Aligned

Chapter 8

As January passed by, the winter still seemed to drag on. The sky would already be black by the time my friends and I would head to dinner. Even though it was unbelievably cold, Sebastian thought it would be fun to take walks in the evenings. It was a romantic gesture, which I very much appreciated, but I would
groan whenever he called me to get ready. If it was spring, I'd run all the way to Virgo House to meet him in my tattered pajamas. Feeling the frigid air against my skin, I longed to curl against Sebastian for warmth. When we walked, I walked so close to him, hoping to access some warmth from his body. It was so cold during the evenings that kissing him goodnight was a physical struggle.  I longed for it be spring; Greenland was an absolute treasure when the trees would gain buds on their brittle twigs. I remember experiencing spring in Astro for the first time, two years before. The weather turned cool and the snow finally melted. I longed to walk outside with Sebastian and hold his hand. I imagined spending the season with him, only positive scenarios filled my mind. But for now, I had to focus on school for the second semester began and all of my time was spent with Sebastian.  Yallannie was hanging out with Samuel more often. When I would be heading to class with her, we would see Samuel heading our direction. A devil-smile would dance on his lips as he eyed her a hello. She'd turn to me and say she had to ask him something while I smiled and encouraged her to flirt with him more. It wasn't long till I saw them sitting together during Independent Hour while he played with her hair while she'd laugh at his jokes.  "He's evil," she said one evening as she tried to desperately hide the smile I so clearly saw on her face. I didn't know their plans or course of actions, hell, Sebastian wasn't telling me anything about Samuel's gestures towards my best friend.  As for Laura, it was clear to everyone that she and Ariel hit it off in the right direction. After the water fountain incident before Holiday, I noticed that whenever Ariel passed our usual table, he'd gaze at my friend as she'd stare on right back with a shy smile. I asked Nicole for help—she told me once that playing matchmaker was her idea of a hobby. After my request, one afternoon, Laura announced that she needed to take care of something. Sebastian and I were sitting together, his head pressed against my neck, Samuel was right next to Yallannie, eating her potato chips, and Polina and Juan were in their own little world, arguing about whatever it was they always disagreed on. Moments later, we saw Ariel rush up to Laura and without even looking her way, his pace matched hers as he reached for her hand. They walked out the cafeteria together, walking closer than I have ever seen them.  "Finally," I whispered, as I laid my head on Sebastian's broad shoulder. When I caught Yallannie and Samuel, my heart burst with joy. If I had a mini-skirt and pom-poms, I would've performed a little cheer and accompany them with cartwheels and somersaults. It was the day Moonley finally grilled me in his class. It was so bad that I was on the verge of tears and I had to pinch myself in the thigh in order to calm myself. Sebastian heard all about it and promised to spend the night with me if it would make me feel better.  "Are you going to surprise me in the morning like you did that first time after your slumber party?" I teased quietly during our usual walk around campus that same evening.  He pecked my lips. "Only if Yallannie spends the night with Sam." "Why would she do that?" I asked, his arms wrapped around my waist. "Well, he wouldn't mind." Sebastian placed his lips back on mine before I could say anything.  We were near the Training Grounds when we heard a girl shriek followed by a thud.  "What the hell?" Sebastian whispered as he led me towards the dark field. We walked slowly and quietly—his arm extended so I would stay behind him.  "...and you say your'e weak." I heard a male voice. "...oh, just help me up!" This voice was female and extremely familiar. "C'mon, you know you can't beat me." As we inched closer, I began to recognize the male voice. It was Samuel.  "Shut up, Sam! I am superior." It was Yallannie. "Prove it." In the dark, I saw his tall frame move close to hers. Their figures blended together in the night and that's when I realized they were kissing.  "Sebastian," I whispered in his ear as I was standing on my tip-toes, "We should probably leave." "How about," he turned to face me, "We cause a scene instead." "Wha—" I felt Sebastian sweep me off my feet as he plunged himself onto the snowy field. I was on top of him, confused as ever, as he began trailing kisses down my jawline and onto my neck. "Wait, what are you doing?" I asked him.  "Just make out with me. Please, I just want to make out with my girlfriend, is that so much?"  I sighed. "When it's unbearable outside?" "When it's you and me, baby, we're scorching." He pressed his lips on my neck and continued kissing me. "Besides," he broke away for a second, "it's not like you don't want to."  I have never seen him like that, and truthfully it was very hot considering it was below zero outside.  "Fuck you," I gave in and started kissing his lips, his neck, his ear. The last time we made out like that was once during Holiday, and that was about a month before. During the other weeks, we would kiss and hold hands, but I knew I should've seen this surge come out at least once after the break. He rolled me off him as he dominated on top. I wrapped my arms around his neck, breaking our bond, pulling him unreasonably close to me.  "I love you." I whispered. I didn't know why I said it, but it came out of my mouth without thinking. Sebastian immediately stopped, but he remained on top of me. His gaze was locked on mine but his expression was unreadable. It seemed as if every action of affection was drained out of his body. He looked shocked, almost, like someone just announced that his favorite person just died. "Sebastian?" I whispered his name, hoping he'd say something, anything.  "Yeah, sorry. I have to go." He sprung up and started down the field, breaking into a run.  He didn't say it back. My chest began to hurt and I felt hollow, empty. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I got up from the cold ground. I started my way home, focusing on placing one foot in front of the other. Tears started running down my face; they blinded my vision. I collapsed onto the wet ground, not caring if anyone heard me or saw me. I didn't move, I just lay in the cold, staring into the atmosphere. I hoped that the black sky would swallow me up, so I could disappear or pretend this night never happened.  I didn't know how long I laid outside; seconds, minutes, hours. I didn't know. I felt myself being lifted off the ground. My head felt heavy and it was a struggle trying to keep myself awake.  "Natalie, are you alright?" It was Samuel. I felt my lips curl. I may have laughed.  "I don't know, Samuel. Am I even alive?" "Where's your room?" I heard him ask. I didn't know whether it was directed towards me or not. I didn't answer; I just tried keeping myself from slipping from subconsciousness. I heard Yallannie's light voice answer. I then felt fast movement. I looked into the deep abyss of a sky. It looked so peaceful and everlasting. What would happen if I jumped high enough? Would I reach the heavens?  "Hang on, Natty." I heard Yallannie. My eyelids felt droopy; I looked at the sky once again, smiled, and let the darkness overtake me.