Joke Smut Oneshots

~Bones to be Boned (M/M)~

After falling in to the underground things have been going well. You have been couch surfing through your newfound friends houses, eventually landing yourself in the Skeleton Brothers home.
You had been staying there with Sans and Papyrus for a weeks now. Every day trying to survive from Papyrus' bad cooking.
One day as you had come back to the house After an outing with undyne you had picked out some new underwear from Samantha's Secret, along grabbing with a few snacks from Grillbys. The underwear were a pair of lacy pink panties that couldn't even be considered clothes. You placed your bags on the couch grabbing the bottle of ketchup you had purchased. You walked up to Sans' room and knocked on his door prompting Sans to respond with "Come in" before you walked in and sat in his bed.
You started talking telling Sans "I bought you some ketchup while I was out" Sans responded with "Thanks Y/N you always seem to know what I want". You smiled a little bit and then asked if he Sans wanted to watch a movie because cause you had just bought snacks with, him responding with "Sure, I'm pretty bored and don't have much to do anyways."
You are both sitting on the couch scrolling through the movies you could watch, when a specific pink bag catches Sans' attention. "Hey kid what's in that bag?" you avert your eyes from his your face flushed from embarrassment. In a more dominating tone he asks "What's in the bag?". You stayed quiet, silently watching Sans reach for the pink bag saying "Samantha's Secret? I wonder what a pretty thing like you would be doing in that store."
Suddenly Sans reached in the the bag and pulled out the pair of panties you had bought. "Hey kid you know much I would love to see you in these~. They would look so pretty on you as you stuff me." You swiftly grab the underwear undressing yourself in front of sans to put the underwear on wearing nothing but them and your crop top. "Kid you look so pretty in those little panties right now, and your dick looks so big I guess you really are excited~." You shiver slightly from his words. You slowly go up to sans and pull down his raggity black basketball shorts taking in his tight pelvis bones. "Baby girl do I look good to you, do I look good to you Y/N."
You crawl on top of Sans, as you whip your dick out suddenly thrusting in to Sans. Moans fill the room as Sans screams out in pleasure as the wet sounds of skin slapping fills the room, Sans pulling you in for a passionate kiss. The kiss between you both breaks as Sans huffs and says "You know- Ah~ I've always- Mhh~ liked you." Sans then grabs you pulling your Sweaty, salty, wet hair as you moan uncontrollably. You can feel a how pit forming in your stomach when sans tells you he is about to cum you tell him to wait until the count of three. "1-2-3" "Ngh~" you both moan in to each other riding out your high before laying in to each other and falling asleep.

The next morning Papyrus wakes up and goes to the kitchen to cook breakfast. As he walks through the living room he passes the couch, and sees you and his brother half naked and screams in shock and horror waking you both up. After that you both bought Papyrus more ingredients for his food and apologized.