“Holy shit.” Andrew whispered. He tapped the letter on the kitchen counter a few times, as if to make sure it were real. He gripped the green edge of the countertop to steady himself. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
Lucy was away at her sister’s for the day, so he had their new apartment to himself. He was going to surprise her by having everything unpacked by the time she got home, but then the postman came and that all changed.
He’d applied for the scholarship on a whim. He hadn’t even bothered to tell anyone, he was so sure he wouldn’t get it. But it was months later, and wasn’t that a letter of congratulations?
“You have to accept it!” Lucy said when he showed her later. “This is insane! Why didn’t you tell me?” She gave him a big kiss and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m so proud of you!”
“No, Luce, there’s something else.” He sighed. “It’s part of a program for Bradford University.”
Lucy was taken aback. She shook her head. “Wait, the one in Montgomery?” She frowned. “Okay, so we move to Montgomery while you go to school. It’s a seven hour drive from here, so we can still visit. That’s not so bad.” She smiled. “And I hear Montgomery is beautiful for weddings.”
Andrew looked at her, his face strained. He did not want to tell her. “We can’t break the lease here, so… one of us would have to stay. At least until the lease is up”
Realization dawned on her face. “Apart.” She shook her head and took a few steps towards the kitchen.
“I really don’t need to go, Goose. I only applied because of their psychology department, I can turn it down. It’s no big deal. I can go work with my dad.”
Lucy spoke in a strong voice, still facing away.
“No. I want to help you grow, not hold you back.” She turned, and he could see light streaks of her mascara running over her cheeks. She rubbed them away.
“You’re crying.” Andrew felt his stomach twist into knots of unbearable anguish. “I made you cry.”
“No, Andrew. I’m okay.”
“I can’t go. I don’t ever want to leave your side.”
“Andrew, you have to.” She hugged herself. “If you don’t go and you regret it I will never forgive myself. I love you so much.” She started to sob.
“No, Luce, I’m not going. Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere. I could never regret staying with you.” He laughed. “That’s the dream, baby. To be with you forever, all the time.”
This only made her cry harder. He crossed the room to her and she held a hand up to stop him from embracing her.
“You’re going to Bradford this fall.” She said. Before he could protest, she cut him off. “But you’re going to marry me first.”
.
.
.
“My mother is going to kill me.” Andrew said, taking a bite from his burger. His last burger as a bachelor.
“Mine too.” Lucy agreed. She grinned. She pulled out two paper crowns from the take out bag. “Here, you wear one, and I’ll wear the other.” She unfolded it and placed it gracefully on her curls.
Andrew took in the sight. “You look so beautiful.”
“Eat your bachelor burger, sir.”
“I’m serious. Every day I wonder what I’m doing right. I can’t figure it out.”
She rolled her eyes. “You have a great ass. That’s all. I’m an ass-man.”
He laughed. “Shut up.”
“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave.”
He snorted at that. They finished their food and crossed the street to the church. It had been a two and a half hour drive to Dakota, but Lucy was secretly grateful for that. It had given her time to think about what she was going to say for her vows.
Vows. The word stuck in her mind. This is real, she thought. I’m marrying Andrew tonight.
She was so overwhelmed with bliss she was trembling. She kept stealing glances at Andrew as they walked to the steeple. He smiled when he caught her. He stopped, suddenly.
“Wait. I want to try something.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles gently. “Lucille Horne.”
She inhaled sharply. “I love it.”
“Me, too.” He squeezed her hand. “Come on, Goose. We have a wedding to get to.”
When they entered the building they were bombarded by an assortment of cupid paraphernalia. At the counter a woman with dyed black hair and bright red nails handed them everything they needed.
“You can buy a bouquet in our flower shop, too.” She said.
Andrew looked at Lucy, then back at the woman. “Do you have anything yellow?”
Lucy began her ascent to the altar with a single sunflower in hand, and she could not have been more pleased. She kept up the traditional wedding march, giggling to herself. Andrew chuckled and shook his head. When she got halfway down the aisle he couldn’t wait any longer, taking long strides down the cheap carpeting until he reached her. He picked her up and spun her around, and she shrieked and held her paper crown on her head.
He set her down and together they walked to the minister. He began:
“Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that—through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance. What this ceremony can do is witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as husband and wife.
“Do you, Andrew Kurt Horne, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Lucille Alexandria Weaver, take this man to be your lawfully wedded—”
“I do.”
“Er—okay. Please now read the vows you have written each other.”
Andrew went first.
“Kafka once said, ‘all the love in the world is useless when there is a total lack of understanding.’ In my whole life, I never felt understood. And because of this I had a difficult time understanding the appeal of romance. I had accepted that I would live a horrible, anxious life with someone who I could harbor no connection with, and that I would go my whole life without ever knowing what it was like to truly and totally be known. When people wrote or sang of love I knew it was something I could never comprehend.
“And then I had you. Beautiful, kind, strong, you. You, Lucy-Goosey, have made me realize the visions of great poets. You have given me the distinct honor of being seen by you, of being known and loved and understood by you. I will spend the rest of my life earning that privilege. I’ll work my body to the bones to love you right.”
Lucy took a deep breath at her turn.
“I love you. You look at me and say sometimes that you don’t deserve me. You joke you tricked me into loving you and now it’s too late. Like you aren’t worthy of it. As if the only way someone could love you is by accident.
“I want you to listen to me, Andrew. I love you, on purpose. I had a choice and I saw you and in an instant I knew how beautiful it would be to love you, and only you, forever. And I chose. And it is. It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever done. I love you on purpose. I always will.”
The minister began to say something, but Andrew wasn’t there anymore. He was in his own private world with the love of his life, who had just declared that he was not a burden to love, and he needed desperately to hold her and believe her.
He gathered her into his arms and held her against his chest, pressing his face into the crook of her neck and breathing in her perfume. Their hearts beat together between them, and she returned his embrace softly.
“Ahem.” The minister continued. “By the power vested in me by the great state of Dakota, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
