Andrew loaded the last suitcase into the trunk of his father’s car. Lucy bounded down the steps of the apartment building, her sunhat flopping with each step.
“Why are you wearing that now?” Andrew laughed, flicking the brim when she reached him.
“I’m excited! We’re gonna see the ocean!” She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “We’re finally doing it!”
It had been two years since they’d talked about seeing the beach together, and now that Lucy was finally feeling stable enough to travel, Andrew surprised her with a trip. He kissed her cheek and opened the car door for her.
“A gentleman.” She said, smiling and ducking into her seat.
He shut the door and paused to look up at the clouds for a moment. He’d decided he didn’t believe in God, but still, he sent out a little prayer: Let this keep, please.
Lucy leaned over and pressed on the horn for a moment, bouncing in her seat. “C’mon!”
Andrew smiled and sent one more “please” out into the universe as he crossed to the driver’s side of the car.
They drove for hours to get to the coast. They fought a few times, small arguments over nothing, but once Lucy did try to get out of the car at a red light. After that Andrew made sure to tread as carefully as possible. Lucy noticed, and though it frustrated her to be babied in that manner, she also hated herself and felt terribly guilty for making him feel as if he couldn’t be himself.
Finally they made it to the beach. They’d check into the hotel later—this was important.
Lucy sat in the passenger seat, hands gripping her sunhat so tightly the knuckles were paled.
“What is it, Goose?” Andrew asked tentatively. She didn’t move.
“What if… what if I ruin this, too?”
Andrew blinked. “What do you mean, baby?”
“I’ve ruined so much for us. Our home doesn’t feel like home anymore. I spent our anniversary in bed or in the shower. I can’t even—” she choked. “I can’t even work anymore. I ruined my career. What if I ruin this, too? What if I ruin this? It’s the last thing we have.”
“Lucy…” Andrew felt such overwhelming sadness and heartbreak. And then he felt it—it was the same feeling he’d had that night before he’d left for college—he just knew what to do suddenly. “Get out of the car.”
She looked at him then, surprised, measuring his gaze and seeing that he was very, very serious. So she stepped out of the car.
He got out, too, and walked around to meet her at her door. He took her hand in his. He pulled her along beside him. She tried to slow herself, delay the inevitable disappointment. But Andrew did not allow it. He would not let her fall behind even a step.
“Together.” He said.
Finally they reached the shore, and Lucy felt the sea water wash over her, and when it pulled away she felt something else pull away with it. She watched the waves crash, and it was like the ocean itself was beating away every bad thought she’d had for the past year and a half. The water hushed her inner self, and she felt it: The rise in her chest of something new and bright.
“Oh, Andrew.” She sobbed.
Andrew didn’t give a shit about the ocean. They could be in the arctic with fucking polar bears and he would not have noticed, because there was something beautiful unfolding before him as he saw his wife reappear.
“Let’s stay here forever.” He said.
“Let’s.” Lucy smiled.
“I mean it.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I’m going to talk to the bank, or my parents, or my boss, or whoever I have to to get a loan and we’ll buy a house right on the beach, and I’ll come home everyday to find you reading on the porch, and I’ll gather you into my arms and kiss you and ask about your day and we can have this for the rest of our lives. So let’s do it. Let’s grow old together here.”
Lucy beamed at him. She shrugged. “What house were you thinking about?” She pointed over his shoulder to a house a little ways away. “I like that one.”
“That one it is.” He said without even a glance.
Lucy laughed, and he brought her close to him and he felt it—her heartbeat beating in time with his.
“I love you, Goose.”
“I love you, too.”
While it was not the end of it all, it was the beginning of the end. Lucy found her peace walking along the shoreline as often as she could, usually with Andrew’s arm linked in hers.
Andrew secured a teaching position at the local community college. On his first day he accidentally mixed up the words organism and orgasm, and was so embarrassed he called in sick the next day.
They were a bit saddened to discover Andrew could not have children, but recovered quickly when they applied to become foster parents, and two-year-old Holly Davis toddled into their lives. Smitten, they adopted her as soon as they were able.
There were some hardships still. Lucy and Andrew both had bouts of panic overcome them sometimes, but never together, and one could always talk the other down.
Today they live in a happy house with yellow siding and plastic flamingos posted in the yard. Holly visits her parents often, bringing along her own little ones. Andrew retires from teaching soon. Lucy has planned a party. They love each other madly.
There is hope where there is love.
