One Redemption

Chapter 1

Brooklyn

I softly pressed the tube of my lipstick to my mouth as I let my gaze fall upon my honey brown eyes. They looked so tired, so exhausted. No amount of makeup would help. No amount of cover-up would hide the dark circles that so eloquently donned my face. It'd been two months since Gary and I broke up. Between my speedy move back to London and trying to get back into the swing of things with work, I'd spent the last eight weeks attempting to put my life back together, all while being bombarded by tabloids and photographers. Looking back, I knew I should have expected things to be a little crazy once word got out that Gary and I were done, officially and permanently over, but honestly, I hadn't expected the backlash that followed. I had reluctantly shut my social media down, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all of it, after receiving thousands of hate-filled messages from devoted Gary fans far and wide. Never in my life had I experienced the type of hatred that I had recently. They were so angry, so heartless, so volatile, but Gary fans were some of the most loyal. There was no question about that. The stress of everything, of losing Gary, of trying to deal with my heartache, all of it had slowly eaten away at me. Draining me of myself and leaving behind a hollow shell formerly known as Brooklyn. I hadn't left my flat in almost three weeks except for the occasional trip to the office or grocery store. I'd spent my time drinking wine and listening to sad love songs while trying to process my emotions, trying to find my voice again, trying desperately to be able to write again. Obscenities roll off my lips as I jump, startled from the ringing of my phone.

"Hey, Han."

"Oh my God, Brooklyn!" I could hear the smile in Hannah's voice. I always loved that about her. She was always happy, always uplifting. "I was hoping you'd pick up."

"Yea, I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole. I was supposed to call you weeks ago. I haven't really been in the mood to talk to anyone, Han."

"Hey, that's okay. You don't have to apologize. I'm just glad I caught you. I figured you'd be at Chelsea and Lucas' shindig by now."

"It starts in about an hour and a half. If I don't get a move on, I'm gonna be late." A small laugh rolled off my lips. "I really wish you guys could come, Han."

I hadn't seen Hannah since her and Bobby came to visit me and Gary about four months ago. We'd spent the weekend laughing and catching up. Hannah and Bobby were easily two of my favorite people on the planet. Whenever they were around, everything just seemed to make sense. Hannah had this aura around her, she was calming, supportive, empathetic. She reminded me so much of Brittney, it was staggering. Bobby, he was hilarious and loud and loved his friends with every ounce of his soul. It showed in the way he talked to you, in the way he smiled at you, in the way he hugged you, in the way he treated you. I missed them. Seeing the two of them together always pulled at my heartstrings. They brought me and Gary back to a time in our lives when our biggest challenges were where we could sneak off in the hopes of getting some alone time together, or what bathing suit I was gonna wear while soaking up the sun by the pool. Bobby and Hannah were the very definition of what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, things weren't all bad with Gary. He was sexy, flirty, funny and could be incredibly charming when he wanted to be. He was a fun guy, loud and lively, spoke what was on his mind the second he thought it. He knew how to keep me on my toes, which I loved about him. On one hand we fought... a lot. Gary had a quick temper and a brash tongue, knowing exactly where to strike to cut me to the bone. I on the other hand, I was much different, clamming up anytime we'd fight. I'd never been the type to handle confrontation well. Sure, I'd stick up for myself, but I hated arguing. Our relationship felt like a constant battle of push and pull. Then on the opposite end of the spectrum, we had this intense, passionate, bring you to your knees type of connection that set my skin on fire and my heart ablaze. No matter how bad the fighting was, no matter how angry or hurt or upset I was at him, no matter what words came out of his mouth, all he had to do was look at me with those deep blue eyes of his. He'd cup my face in his hands and brush his lips against mine, telling me how sorry he was and how much he loved me, his voice barely above a whisper. He could bring me to my knees with his words, leaving my heart ripped open in one breath then pull me right back up with the fiery, all-consuming love he had for me in the next. Gary had a way of making me feel like I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. From the way he touched me and kissed me to the way he'd bite his lip while slowly sauntering towards me. He'd lock his eyes on mine, stripping his clothes off after a long day at the docks, pushing me up against the wall, whispering how much he wanted me as he'd fill my mouth with his tongue. He knew what drove me crazy, knew what made my blood heat up. Our relationship was turbulent yet passionate and we did love each other, we just didn't know how to navigate the rocky seas we constantly created for ourselves. Gary had a string of failed relationships and I, well, he was my first real relationship. The two of us were novices at love, at best.