A/N: So yeah, basically, this is my first phanfiction ever, so please go easy on me guys. Thank you very much if you read my first two imagines as well, and I'll appreciate it if you comment your opinions! ^^ love you all <3
He felt his heart throbbing violently in his chest. The ear deafening sounds of the traffic overcame the mocking voices in his head, and the tears left salty streaks of water on his cheeks. Failure. Mistake. Freak. Emo. Faggot... He pulled his sleeve over his hand and dried his red, swollen eyes. As soon as his eyes were closed he could see their judging frowns looking down at him wherever he went and feel their stinging words being pinned to his back.
From the point where he couldn't take the hiding anymore and he came out of the closet, Phil had been constantly bullied and tormented in school. He lost all his friends almost instantly, so they pretty much showed themselves to not be friends at all. The people who hated him, started hating him even more. Everyone seemed homophobic. Being gay was, according to them, a disgrace to all of manhood, and gay people were peasants that society had to get rid of.
He didn't understand why they just couldn't leave him alone, and let him live his own life. He didn't need everyone to walk over him just because he had a different sexuality. It was all wrong. The images of right and wrongs that their parents and the rest of society had put into their heads wasn't the right ones, and nor should it mean anything to them what his life and sexuality was based on.
Phil stared into the traffic, eyeing every moving motion carefully. It still felt like a blurr, it was like he couldn't really concentrate on it all. Wouldn't it be easy to just step into the road and get run over? He stared right through the traffic, setting his goal, as he needed to be heading somewhere. Going somewhere. Tears were swelling up in his eyes again and the noises from his surroundings became white sound, not letting him registrate cars honking or people yelling from the pavement at the other side of the road.
Phil slowly put one foot in front of the other. Cars were passing fast, not noticing the pale boy in blue getting ready to face a fatal death. He could hear a voice, begging him to stop moving. Begging him to stay with them and stop moving. He ignored the silent whisper and closed his eyes. He was ready to leave everyone and everything behind.
He stepped forward, but the voice was there again. It was much louder now, louder than the pleading one earlier. "Phil, don't!" He heard a voice ringing in his ears. He shook his head lightly, erasing the delutions in his mind. "Phil! Stop moving for gods sake!" He opened his eyes, quickly gazing around himself. He turned around and took a few steps backwards in fear as he saw Daniel moving quickly towards him.
Without realising it, Phil had stepped right into the road, so he was in hitline of the moving vehicles. Everything went by as a flash. He lost balance as he stepped on an empty can and flailed, loosing his balance. He turned his head 90 degrees to the right, eyeing the carlights moving threateningly fast straight towards him. The adrenaline rushed through his body. He spotted Daniel reaching out for him, grabbing at empty air. Having second thoughts. Closing his eyes getting ready for the impact.
---
Let's turn the clock back to when it all started to collapse.
Phil tossed his bag over his shoulder, exiting english class and getting ready for second period. His blue eyes were pinned to the floor tiles as he thought of every possible way to tell his friends he was gay.
He had been gay as long as he could remember. At first it had felt strange because all the other boys were talking about girls and he felt a little helpless, being the only one liking boys. He felt like he didn't fit properly in, and didn't want to be the freak, so he figured it was best to play along and pretend that he was straight. After a while, it became more and more normal to him, acting this way. But his attraction to boys grew too, and made it harder to contain his sexuality. At his seventeenth birthday, Phil decided he would come clean. No more lies, no more hiding who he truly was. No more pretending.
So here he was, unlocking his locker, with a heavy cloud of thoughts inside his head. It would be allright, he was sure of it. His friends would back him up. Phil took a deep breath and shrugged off the nervousity on his back. He straightened out his black dyed, messy hair and pasted on a smile to become more self confident. He closed his lockerdoor shut and turned to walk to history lessons.
His mind was in a whole other place as he walked through the hallways, and before he had the chance to react, he crashed straight into someone.
- Watch it! Get out of my face! He heard the guy say, before being pushed so he stumbled backwards.
He lifted his head to see who the voice belonged too, and was horrified. This guy, was no other person than Daniel Howell. Only his friends were to call him Dan. He had a reputation. He was a senior, and the worst bully in school yet. He had dark brown, sidecut hair and chocolate brown eyes. His sleeves were pulled up on his arms, and he clearly didn't know what the purpose of a belt was, as he was literally showing off his boxers. He was really tall, fit and handsome, but he'd heard that he brushed off every girl that tried to make a move.
Low ranked people like Phil tend to stay away from high ranked people like him. He was not pleased with the situation he'd gotten himself up in right now. This guy didn't even need a reason, he would make your life miserable anyways.
- I'm s-sorry, it won't happen again... Phil stuttered and stared deep into Daniels brown eyes.
Daniel eyed him up and down with a judging frown. Normally he would make sure that it really wouldn't, by adding a bruise to the peasants body, but he felt like letting this pathetic person go this time.
- I'm letting you off with a warning... He exclaimed and threatingly stepped closer to Phil.
- If this happens again, you won't be that lucky.
And with that, he walked off with two of his buddies after him. Phil didn't breathe until they were out of sight. The crowd that had been gathering to watch the outcome disappeared, and he finally started to move towards his class, with wobbly legs and goosebumps all over his body.
Phil could at least tell bloody easily that he didn't like this guy. It was hate at first sight.
A/N: I hope you liked this first part, and if you did, please give me a vote to let me know. Thank you lovelies. <3
