I need space. Those were the words Jacky said to Ryan the night before they both left for separate colleges. Now, each of them will try to learn who they are without the other. Will their paths lead them back together?
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Ryan
Ryan wasn't sure when he had gotten so drunk, but he wasn't quite surprised when he found himself making out with Charlie. It had been so long since he'd kissed Jacky that last night they were together, and each kiss was a tactile reminder of him. His brain kept flickering to how Jacky had looked in the dark, his sharp angles softened and the gentle way they had tasted each other.
The only different thing was the way Charlie smelled. Each time Ryan would lose himself in the memories, he'd inhale, and snap back to the present, where Charlie was wearing something that smelled citrusy and – Ryan moved his lips down to kiss Charlie's smooth neck for a moment before placing that other scent, which was minty.
Jacky, on the other hand, smelled more like an evergreen forest with hints of citrus. He hadn't always smelled like that; it was the cologne Ryan had bought him last year for Christmas: Marvel Men's Cologne, the Captain America one, which might have come across like a joke gift except that Ryan loved the scent, and so did Jacky, and it blended nicely with the Old Spice cologne Ryan wore. Jacky had even bought a bottle of Old Spice to spray on his pillow for the nights when Ryan wasn't there.
Coming up for air, Ryan murmured in Charlie's ear, "I have to go to the bathroom."
Charlie climbed off, and Ryan stumbled toward the bathroom. It wasn't exactly a ploy to have a little privacy to use his phone – he really did have to pee – but once he was done, he sat there and opened up his texts to his last text conversation with Jacky.
I'll see you soon, Jacky had sent.
That had been the day before Ryan left for college. The day Jacky had driven to the group home and picked Ryan up for their last sleepover.
Ryan's throat closed up and he struggled to swallow. For a brief moment, it had been as if the last month and a half hadn't happened, and Jacky was on his way over. The gut punch of longing gripped him. He pressed a hand to his mouth, where only moments before he had been kissing Charlie, and thinking of Jacky.
That was the attraction, wasn't it? Someone who was a little broken, who Ryan could protect. Someone with dark hair that drooped over their face and hunched their shoulders like they were bracing themselves against hurt that was inevitably coming down the pipeline. Now that Ryan thought about it, he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before.
His thumbs hovered over the little keyboard.
But no. Jacky had broken up with him. Whatever Jacky was going through, he wanted to go through it on his own. More than wanted – he needed to do it alone, without Ryan to protect him.
Swallowing thickly, Ryan shut off his phone. He had to wait for Jacky.
He just hoped Jacky would find his way back.
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