After all

Prologue

I stood on the edge of the mountain, I don't have to look down but take a deep breath for this, the mountain of peace, the peace they say brought back people from dying, I'm gonna change that saying today, I'm going to die down this cliff..
I've came here way a lot of times before, and it's true I turned back but now after the situations I have gone through in the last one month, in which I didn't come here, I suppose I should die.
Dying is also not the solution, I'm well aware but staying suffocates me anyhow.
Reasons I should die are a lot. More then a lot.
But none of them are reasonable.
Depression, some people eventually die from that, I'm suiciding—anxiety and physical bully/abuse. Sexual harassment.. betrayal quite a lot of times and lonely.
In movies or books, a hero for this lost girl or a heroine for this long boy comes but for me, my hero didn't come, I'm already 25.. Ya, you'll think, Just wait a little longer, he'll come. Few did come in my life, thinking about them is a waste of time you know.
Better just die here..

I took my right leg forward to the thin air and slipped, my butt cheeks met the hard rock and I realized I didn't die, but I sat on the rock I was standing. To hell with this!
I signed a deep breath and exhaled. "I want to die.." I murmured to self.
A tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my right cheek, it landed on the peek of my chin, I used my outside of palm to wipe it.

I don't want to cry on Jack, not even on Adam, not at all on Saif! Not on anyone else.
But I am, I am crying on all the things they did to me.
I am crying on how my whole family left me at a hopeless age of 6..
I am crying for how my friends become fake ones.
How school tortured me without saying a word against those bullies.
How work gave me harassment..
  All this is why I wanna give up of this shitty life of mine, this is why.
Now Do I have the permission to give up?
   No reply but thunder—I may take that as a yes god.

In the name of god—I shall die.
   I threw my body and released myself from the worlds burden.