Penny Max and the Runaway Lottery Ticket: Hilton Head Chronicles Part 1

V. In Which Lawrence T. Wellington III Rescues the Girls of Summer

Warm up: "It's a Cool, Cool Summer " by Bananarama 

When Lawrence T. Wellington wasn't meeting with Ruby Mae or 'working' at the pro shop or other various and sundry plans and schemes he had going on, he could be found in the company of certain women, or what he described to himself as 'the girls of summer' - those women 50 and older who took girlfriend getaways together in Hilton Head during the warmer weather. 

Like a hyena, he could always sniff out the weakest link in the group and then infiltrate his way into an annual habit for the group. One group of women in particular he especially looked forward to seeing was a funny set of ladies who came every year to stay at Sea Pines from Kent, Ohio. They always stayed at one of the condos with an elevator to make it easier to lug up their piles of suitcase to the higher floors where the bedrooms were. 

Mostly married, they were exactly the way Lar-Lar liked them, needy but the responsibility of someone else! On a humid May day, the Kent ladies arrived at their Sea Pines condo, a group of four in an SUV with all the luggage and another group of four in a lemon yellow convertible. Their laughter echoed throughout the resort complex as they got out of the two vehicles in their excitement to start their vacation together. 

Though mostly retired, they spent a lot of time volunteering and helping out at their nonprofits of choice or their respective churches. This annual vacation was the one time when they put aside the husbands, the grandchildren and their causes, and picked up instead margarita glasses, mambo on the beach and massages at the spa. 

"C'mon Milly, get a move on," said Candy, getting a tote bag out of trunk of the convertible. Milly put her wallet back into her Dooney and Bourke purse along with the car keys and followed Candy into the condo. The ladies kept talking over each other in excitement as they talked about favorite restaurants to revisit and recalled moments of hilarity like walking up the beach and watching Josie step over what she thought was a stick which ended up being an alligator tail and how they all ran screaming down the beach back to the condo. 

And of course Lar-Lar. Lar-Lar was a staple with the Kent ladies, a perfect escort for the mostly married crew, each of them claiming their own special moment with the attractive 70-something. Except for Milly, who rolled her eyes at all of them for their annual vacation flirtation, and refused to talk or even look at him when he was around. 

They just ignored her judgmental looks and downed another margarita while they shamelessly vied for his attention. Candy was on her cell phone as they gathered in the kitchen once they all staked out their rooms and by her laughter they knew she was talking to their summer escort. "Lar-Lar!" shouted Josie, which was echoed by Nancy and the rest of the ladies. Milly sniffed loudly and left the kitchen but no one noticed. 

Later that night the ladies headed out to Daniel's near Coligney beach of Hilton Head Island to toast their arrival over dinner. Nancy lifted her glass in front of her friends. "To husbands. To children. To Grandchildren. And to forgetting about them while we're here!" "Here here" "Cheers to that" laughed the group in response raising their glasses. As appetizers and entrees started to arrive, talk centered around minor procedures recently had or expected, and plans for the next two weeks.

Lar-Lar walked into the restaurant, and he heard the ladies before he saw them. He made a quick stop at the bar and ordered two bottles of champagne for the table, knowing the bubbly would get added into their bill. He smiled to himself as he heard the familiar voices. As he came around the corner he waited for them to 'unexpectedly' notice him.

Candy noticed him first and got up quickly before any of the other ladies did to give him a welcoming hug. He smelled like cherry cigar smoke and Polo and she breathed it in - to her the smell of the ocean. Then the ladies noticed and a crowd of cheers and whooping erupted from the table as Lar-Lar began his own summer season. 

During the first week, the ladies mixed it up with tennis lessons (Lar-Lar) and rounds of golf with a caddie (Lar-Lar) and dancing at a couple local clubs (with Lar-Lar) and drinks around the open pit on their back patio with a fire built by (yes you guessed it) Lar-Lar. He on the other hand enjoyed free food and drink and cash thrown at him to buy this and deliver that. Plus the occasional passionate kiss around the corner with this one or that one - giving them the tame thrill they looked for while on break from their every day lives. 

Except for Millie who was mostly annoyed with his intrusion. But he came in handy for more than just gopher. During the second week of their vacation, as their time away was winding down, the ladies were getting rid of packaging from their various shopping trips to the nearby outlet mall, going up and down their elevator in their condo. 

After running around all morning, half-packing their purchases, they realized they were running late for their tennis lesson with Lar-Lar and they all got into the elevator to get down to the first floor in a hurry. Halfway between the 2nd and 1st floor, the elevator made a loud groaning noise and shuddered to a stop. 

The ladies who had been chattering loudly and also half-laughingly complaining about how tight it was in the elevator, all got quiet and looked at each other. "What do we do?" asked Josie. "Lord have mercy!" Nancy pressed the alarm button in the elevator and nothing happened. "Press it again Nancy," said Candy. Nancy obliged but nothing - not a sound. "Great, just great, we are stuck in here!" said Josie loudly, with a couple other ladies echoing her loudly. "Does anyone have their cellphones with them," asked Candy. 

They ladies all began checking their pockets and realized they didn't have their phones and started to make panicking sounds. Finally Millie dug out a phone from her back pocket. "Who should she call?" asked Nancy. "Does anyone know Lar-Lar's number," asked Candy. "I have it saved in my phone but I don't have it memorized." "We can't call the police, we'll never be allowed back," said Josie. 

Millie was very quiet. Finally she said "I have Lar-Lar's number." The group got quiet. They all looked at each other, mouthing the question, 'she has his number?' as she made the call on her phone. Then they heard Lar-Lar's voice as somehow Millie had pressed speaker on her phone. "Oh Millie, I've been waiting for you to call me," said Lar-Lar at his sexy sounding best. "After that night together two years ago I thought I'd never hear from you again. I'm all yours honey and I've been fantasizing about what you did to my..." then Millie dropped the phone and the voice on the end of the line stopped at that very interesting point.

All her friends looked at each other then looked at her. And forgetting that they were stuck in an elevator, Candy finally said what they all were thinking."MILLIE!! I can't believe it!!! Woo-Hoo!!" then all the ladies laughed and laughed especially as Millie's face got redder and redder. Josie picked up Millie's phone and dialed Lar-Lar's saved number and explained to him their dilemma as the other women laughed and exclaimed. 

He showed up within 15 minutes along with condo maintenance and had the ladies out of the elevator within 10 minutes. None of them said anything about the conversation they heard but decided to cancel tennis and go straight to brunch and mimosas at the resort. The next morning the ladies finalized their packing and preparations for departure later that evening. Lar-Lar played all-around errand boy helping with packing and putting packages and other items in the front entry way for their eventual relocation to the vehicles. 

After a final round of shopping for forgotten gifts for various grandkids and husbands, and then a late lunch, the ladies came back to their condo. Lar-Lar was waiting for them and helped them load up their vehicles. Little gifts and $20 bills were pressed into his hand as a thank you for this year and a promise for more fun next year. And then they were gone.

He smiled to himself, getting ready for a good night's rest, as another group of women would be arriving in two days - his socially creative way of surviving the summer season and supporting his occasional gaming habit which had become a little problematic as of late. His normal bookie had moved on and the new guy had higher expectations of payment due.