Eat Up..

I'm Over It All

I woke up this morning thinking wow i'm really suspended I had nothing to do so I decided to write out my feelings I got my notebook of my nightstand and began writing.

Sometimes I wonder why i'm still living honestly there is nothing in this world i'm needed for or wanted for. It annoys me when people say everyone has something to live for because I know I have nothing to live for. I hate when someone says they love me because I know if I don't love me no one loves me your just a lie if you say that to me. Maybe the reason i'm like this is because of my parents I don't feel loved by them i'm broken my dad and I barely see each other my mom no longer does anything with me I spend my whole life in a room staring at a computer screen and i'm tired of that.

Once done getting my feelings out I walked down stairs to the kitchen to see my mom cooking.

Good Morning violet mama anna said

Good Morning I said back to her

Would you like some breakfast she asked

I just ignored her because I honestly didn't feel like talking to her. I just walked over to the fridge to go grab out a yogurt.

Excuse me violet I just asked you a question i'm tired of you being rude she yelled

Whatever mom I responded like that because I just was upset and didn't care at that very moment.

As I was walking back to my room I felt a hard slap hit my arm I was in shock my mother had never hit me ever.

I turned around in shock to see my mom just standing there I dropped my yogurt on the floor and after that tears started falling from my face and I ran out the house.

As I was running I heard my mom yell violet get back here now but I ignored it a kept running.

I was running when I saw the girl at my school who is always smoking and doing bad things her name is Nia. I thought why not go up to her and ask for a cigarette I was upset had some feelings to let out so why not can't be that bad right I went up and asked and she gladly gave me one.

I inhaled the smoke and let it sit in my mouth for a while till I let it out it felt weird it kinda burned my throat and chest but at the same time it felt good.

So what's the problem Nia asked

Nothing I responded

There is obviously something wrong it's not everyday you come running outside in pj's asking someone for a cigarette Nia said

Family problems..

Me to I caught my dad cheating on my mom last weekend and he asked me to lie and i'm having a hard time lying to my mom but at the same time i don't want them to start fighting. Also me and my boyfriend recently broke up Nia told me while blowing out smoke.

What did you guys break up for I said while inhaling more smoke.

It just wasn't working out we would never see each other he would always talk to other girls so I decided to end it he was upset but agreed it just wasn't working out for us. But anyway you seem cool I'm about to go meet up with friends around 12 at the skating park want to come.

Sure..

Well then I'll see you there bye Nia said while walking away.

As I was walking back home I finished the cigarette Nia gave me then threw it on the floor and stepped on it.

I walked into my house and I didn't see my mom so I slowly walked up the stairs trying to make no noise but then my mom walked out her room and saw me.

Violet what are you doing she asked

I'm going to get clothes to go out.

Is that smoke I smell violet Mama anna asked

No.. 

You're not going anywhere violet she yelled at me.

Yes I am and you can't stop me. 

I shoved my way through her and walked to my room and picked out an outfit.

Outfit Consist of:

Leather Jacket

White Tank Top

Black Skinny Jeans

White Converse

I put all my clothes on then walked down the stairs grabbed a soda out the fridge then left.

I still had about 30 mins left so I just sat down on a park bench near by my house and waited.

Thanks for reading another chapter more will be out very very soon i'm so sorry for not updating in a long time I honestly thought that in summer I would update more but i've just been doing really bad with that but I will get better at updating I promise. Have an amazing Night guys byeeee....