Alice in Borderland | Transmigration

Chapter 44

"Karube's dead."

The box of bandages fell out of your hands, colliding with the ground. The rolls scattered, unravelling halfway in some sort of sick web. Kuina could only stare at you with a heartbroken expression.

"What...?" Your voice quivered.

The clinic the three of you were situated in was nowhere near hygienic, greenery already deciding to swallow up what's left of the medical centre. The shelves were ransacked, random items littering the sandy floor. The air seemed to have its own coat of dust, dancing in what's left of the afternoon sunlight.

You were seated on the floor. Your whole world torn apart and forcibly put back together again. In some sick way, you hoped that you misunderstood her Japanese, that you didn't hear her properly despite her words ringing loud and clear.

"No...tell me it's not true," you reached out, arms shaking, voice laced with desperation, "tell me it's a joke!"

"I'm sorry, Y/n. We couldn't save him."

Your breath caught, tears welling in your eyes and slipping down your cheeks. In a second, long arms wrapped around you and pulled you close. The sting of your injury was dull compared to the way your heart was torn.

Karube was a constant presence, something you definitely took for granted. He was like a rock to you, and although you may not have been the closest with him, it hurt all the same.

The guilt was suffocating. You had basically traded Karube's life for Tatta's, why are you playing god? You may not have directly caused Karube's death, but you are responsible for the narrative this plot has turned to. At some point in time, you had taken the author's pen and started writing your own story. Did you really think that wouldn't have consequences? That the world wouldn't right itself again?

You were stupid to think you could get by without casualties. Does that mean Tatta and Ippei will die in the near future too? After all, the world must right itself, and their deaths are canon.

At the thought, your sobs became even more wrecked, and you mourned for them even though they're alive. Kuina's grip on your shoulders was the only thing grounding you, the glue to your shattered pieces.

By the time you managed to reign in your tears, the sun had just dipped over the horizon. You knew you had to get to the game, to the Queen of Spades, but you couldn't move through the bone-deep exhaustion settling over you like a blanket.

Kuina had begun cleaning your wounds and redressing them in silence. You couldn't even find the energy within you to flinch whenever she pressed slightly too hard. Your eyes wandered off to the side, coincidentally making eye contact with Ippei.

He looked scared, hair frazzled and wide eyes. A sad expression adorned his face, as if mourning for someone even though he had never met them. You took in his appearance and tried your best to give him a reassuring smile, but from his perspective, you looked hollow.

Kuina taped off the bandage. She glanced up, trying to read your expression. All you could do was nod, and that's all she needed. Not a word was spoken as you stood, staggering slightly but held upright by Kuina's grip on your elbow. Ippei looked like he wanted to say something, but noticing the solemn expressions, he thought better of it. The three of you made your way outside.

You have to admit, the cool air instantly made you feel better. The breeze made the fog in your head slightly more bearable. The Queen of Spades was not too far off, the illuminated power station visible in the distance, the blimp hanging overhead.

You were in no condition to enter this game. Nothing made sense to you and such a clouded mind can make the difference between life and death.

But what choice did you have?