𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐤

Fuck it.

So rn i literally feel like crying, but i can't feel it irl, so i will have to vent it here.

My parents have the strictest fucking rule, saying that no electronics are allowed during school week.

And i have discord, yes, which means i can't talk to my father anymore, since i have to deal with school and fucking hard homework.

Worst of all, on history, we have to do two projects this semester, but not at the same time.

Which means, i can only talk to my father in weekends only!

By weekends only, means that Saturday morning, i have to talk only a bit with him, without my irl mother noticing, and then got to meditations.

Then wait all the way to either 6PM.

I'm goddamn stressed about it, but rn, that's not the problem.

This week was extremely rough for me, and when my mother put back my laptop (usually, my dad puts back my laptop, but this week he was gone out of country), i was shocked.

I was standing there, sitting, and watching about how my father said that he thinks he's annoying to other's and doesn't feel like living, which breaks my heart reading such words.

He did forgive me for my stupid thing, but then i remembered i had to go to the meditations.

And then stood half an hour, just to go to a bday of a classmate of mine.

And then i had to wait for his dm, but i had to go to the opera with my mom.

I also waited for his dm today, but i guess he's now mad at me completely, bcs he didn't reply (oh fuck i'm sobbing)

I waited all day. Normally, one of my "sisters" would either get mad at him or block him, but i don't. I'm worried about him. It's all my fault.

I fucked up the second time..