Oceans Away

Trouble in Paradise (Alana's POV)

      I can't imagine what my summer was like before spending every moment of it with Roy. Every chance we get, we are together. It's refreshing really, I've never had that before. Someone so willing to make time for me, and enjoying every second.

      One summer night, he was driving me back home in his bright blue Ford Bronco from a walk on the beach. That might not sound exhilarating for some, but for me, it was everything. Holding hands and strolling through the sand, without a care in the world.

      "Did you know that 95% of ALL life on this planet is from the ocean?," Roy randomly questions.

      He tends to do this on the drives back of our time together. Spewing random facts to start random conversations. I don't know how he can fit so much knowledge in his head.

      "You mean like, of ALL life?"

      "Yeah! Isn't it so weird? We barely make up a percentage. Only 5%. It really puts things in perspective."

      "Further proving that humans are too cocky," I giggle.

       He turns onto my street, and makes his way down, getting closer and closer to my house.

      "You can just drop me here. This is close enough."

      "What do you mean? Your house is all the way down there."

      "It's just a little walk I'll be fine."

      "Why do you never let me drive up to your house?," he questions, as he keeps going down the street.

      "STOP!," I scream. Dread took over my whole body before I could act rationally, before thinking how my reaction would look in his eyes.

      "What's the big deal?," he says back frantically.

      I sink my head into my hands out of pure embarrassment. I hate when my anxiety gets the best of me in a moment, when a small little incident sends me over the edge into a territory of my mind I cannot control. Just when things were going well with someone, I just had to go and make a fool of myself.

      "My parents they... they're odd. Especially with boys. They don't want me around any at all."

"Why?"

"Girl parents. You wouldn't understand."

"That's not true."

"Let me guess. Your dad doesn't really care what you do, who you see, where you go right?"

Roy nods reluctantly.

"Yeah. Well, with girls, parents usually feel like they have to be stricter. They don't want their daughters... you know... doing certain things."

"We're just hanging out though... right?"

"Just... trust me. You don't want to deal with them right now. Okay?"

"But I can meet them eventually right?"

He looks so hopeful, I would hate to ruin that in this moment. But in my heart I knew it would be more trouble than it's worth. We haven't even kissed yet, we aren't even dating, and I'm already seeing the roadblocks. I'm already not an easy girl to date.

      "Yeah. One day," I sigh. He tries to look me in the eye, but I instantly avoid his gaze. "I'll go now but I'll see you later." I finally look up at his face, and see him looking at me, brows slightly furrowed. Confused. And concerned.

      "Sure. Whatever you want." He keeps looking and smiles sweetly as I close the door. I stand there awkwardly as he drives away. I pray I haven't ruined anything yet. But if anyone could find a way to, it would be me.

      I began to walk towards my house, excited to climb into my bed, cuddle under my blankets, and ignore the world for the excuse of self pity. But before I could make it home, my dad stood on the sidewalk. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, his feet in a wide stance. He's been waiting for me, and I knew then that I was about to feel his fury.

       "So that's what you've been doing. God knows what with a random boy." His voice echoes across the silent street. All of the little houses on the street had all of their lights off, envelopes by the big palm trees in their front yards.  I felt envious. Everyone else was having a peaceful evening, maybe even asleep already. And I was about to have one of the only good things in my life ruined for me.

      "He's just a friend. I promise." I weakly try to defend myself, already knowing it would get me nowhere.

      "No boy is just a friend. They always want more."

      "He's not like that. He's good. He's sweet. Not like anyone else I've met."

      "You mean not like Carson," he replies curtly.

      Carson was the last guy I liked in the last town I lived in. From the moment I saw him, I was hooked. It's like he cast a spell on me, except by accident, and he couldn't care less what effects it had on me. I think he saw my eagerness for him, and used that to his advantage. He would talk to me, and use me, when it was convenient to him. And I would do anything just to get his attention. The dangerous cycle went on in secret for months, until my parents found out about it and swiftly moved me away. They said it was before anything could get worse. I agreed at the time, but I knew now that what happened then was going to doom anything good that happened in the future.

      "Carson is not the default of all guys. He was a special fucked up case."

      "Don't talk to me like that. Don't say anything at all. The only thing you should be doing is listening." He walked over to me and grabbed my arm aggressively, pulling me with him toward the house.

      "Dad! You're hurting me!"

      "You're going to listen."

      Once we got inside, my mother was waiting in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette and tapping her fingers anxiously on the counter. She looked up at me immediately.

      "We knew it. We knew something was going on.

      "Nothing is going on Mom, I promise! Can't I just have a friend? Someone to be with instead of staying around here miserable all day?"

      "If you weren't under our roof, you could do whatever you want. And the point stands that you are. You still need us. And because of that, you will follow our rules." She puts her cigarette out on the ashtray. Her hair looks an insane mess, put up haphazardly in rollers. She gets up in front of my face. She takes her time taking a cigarette box out of her robe pocket, and lighting a new cigarette. She blows the smoke in my face, slowly, ignoring my winces.

      "You can't see that boy ever again. That's final. You know the rules, and you know what happens if you break them." The cigarette loomed over my arm. I instantly got flashbacks to what happened all the times before. All the times I simply tried to live my life like a normal teenage girl, and got punished for it.

      Hot, angry tears started streaming down my face. I tried to say something, but nothing came, only uncontrollable sobs. I ran up to my room before anybody could say anything else.

      I'd lost. Again. It seemed I always had to fight for happiness, in my own head and in real life. I buried myself under my blankets, feeling utter despair. Dealing with my crazy parents was bad enough, but not being able to see the only person who ever understood me hurt even more.