Untold Feelings of ViceRylle

I Love, Goodbye

Vice's POV

It was my seventh day of sacrificing for the one I love

One week of avoiding her

Rejecting her calls, unreplying her texts

I'm not talking to her at all.

I've been dead for almost one week

"I love you Vice.", she confessed.

I didn't know how I am going to react that day

Is she fucking serious about that?

Does Karylle really love me?

"Vice. . .I love you." she repeated.

I wanted to hug her,to kiss her and tell her how much I love her too.

But there was a thing that stopped me.

"No, I'm a gay! We're friends!", that's what I used to tell her.

She stepped back and her tears started to fall.

Pain,I saw pain in her eyes.

And I hate myself for doing that, I hurt her.

She was damn crying but I just walked away.

I left her, I'm stupid I know.

I am supposed to be the happiest gay in the world today.

Imagine, she feels the same as mine. We love each other.

That was so amazing that I couldn't even ask for more.

But look at me now; I was just easily defeated by fear,

Fear of hurting Karylle.

"Once a gay always be a gay", that's what I used to believe in.

What if we were just too close to each other so I thought I love her even I'm really not?

Or yeah I really love her, but what if one day I do love guys again?

I have so many what ifs here in my mind, and I'm afraid that one of these is right.

I'm scared that when our love story get started, there will be me who going to destroy it.

There will be me who going to break her heart.

I don't want to break her.

It will be the most horrible nightmare for me I guess.

It will make me feel like I'm the most stupid gay in this world.

And I won't let it happen.

So I made the hardest decision in my life.

I chose to create a big wall between us.

"K, just forget about me and I'll do the same too.", it was a message that's now killing me.

I'm going to leave her; I'm going to leave the one whom I love the most.

I'm sorry Karylle, God knows how much I love you but I need to do this.

I'm just hoping that I made the right decision for us K.

And I'm hoping that I won't regret about this someday.

I love you so much Karylle.

Please forgive me.

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