I Don't Need You

Chapter 47-Fold

It's zero time to process, zero seconds left, everything is done, over, and nothing means anything. I'm unable. There is no remorse, no mercy, there is only dark, cold, and nothing. The sounds of flesh falling should numb me by now. My job in this life has dealt with it, the smell, feel, tenderness…flesh is part of the details. I've touched, sliced, held, kissed, fucked, flesh. I've watched flesh be alive with a beautiful soul and also be alive without. 

I've watched…her flesh in our recent days become more than just. In its beauty and pain it had stories and memories. I had taken my hands, mapped it out and protected each pore. Kissed over every scar, and left my own signature to stake claim. Her flesh was warm, it was soft and it was my own. We agreed for insurance reasons that night before Dean parted ways- yet- we knew…we knew silently there would be no other flesh. We didn't need to continue our search…it was over. 

And upon that flesh, eventually, would've been rings. We used straw wrappers due to the idea that this wasn't for lovers' purposes, and signed away to become one. To save the other in case… I told her silver, blessed and in Latin "Ego Sum Tui Usque in Sempiternum." A vow of I'm forever yours. A vow that now felt as heavy as she did, what was left of her flesh.

It had been seconds after it happened that Dean busted in. Shots with precision and determination to make the kill did them all in. I was gonna forever struggle against my binds and injuries to get to her. Dean had done a double take seeing what had me up in arms. 

"No, oh God, no, nonono, oh sweetheart…no, please, please no…" he was begging for it to not be certain. He was hoping like I had that she would be her and come back. He got her down first, weight falling almost on the floor with how slick and diced she had been. Dean braced but had to set her down. I fought harder even almost missing him trying to help as I was let loose. 

"MNUGH BAY-BNOOO!" I couldn't form words or any sort but only sounds with how much I'd been fighting against the tide. I was immediately pulling my person across the cold, biting, concrete against my weeping flesh that burned. Nails pried back as I dug to crawl to her as fast as I could only to feel Dean brace to sit. 

"Come here, come here, I gotcha, come 'ere baby brother, look, looklook shhh we got her…we got 'er man, she's here, it's okay, its-its gonna be- j-ust fine…hol-d your-b-aby…h-old 'er tight S-am-my…" he was sobbing as he has pulled me helplessly into his lap on the ground near her. I was like a small child struggling as he gently pulled her into my lap, lifeless, but still warm, and held us both tight. 

I cradled her head and closed her eyes until my body let out its emotions. Dean was gripping us both tighter as I sobbed into her neck. The wounds were deeper than mine and I saw, up close, how much she really took for me. Battered, bruised, and I even could say violated. I rocked, unable to move anyway else and barely cared I was slathering her blood on me. "Careful Sammy…easy…shhh don't let go…it's okay…gonna take her home…we'll get her all clean Sammy…make sure she's comfortable…s'gonna be alright…" Dean was using everything he could to get me to let him get us back home. 

"Sh-e'smi-ine, m-my Babygir-my-my-ine…I-w-annah-old her…" it was the only sentence I knew. It was all I could say to Dean's idea. My voice was unable to steady and I hated the idea of anyone touching her again.