BLOOD BANK - LN4

001

   

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001, the prodigy
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     LENORA VERSTAPPEN WAS seven years old when she decided that love would never be enough. Not in a stupidly sad way, more so a factual one. Love could not make someone stay and love could not bring someone back, a realisation you have to have at some point on your life. Wether that comes at seven or seventy.

When the case workers asked her who she wanted to live with after her parents split up she immediately said her older brothers name, which meant she would be going with her dad. She loved her sister but at seven years old you do not know much, but she felt comfort in her brothers arms and that was all she needed to know.

She loved everything about him. The way he talked made him seem so such wiser than her, even though he was only two years older.

He loved her too, of course. Max always thought she should think more highly of herself, even in their early years.

The admiration he held for her was sweet, it was simple, but it was not everlasting.

In the blink of an eye, more like a year or two, the sweetness turned sour. He was on the road to success at the ripe age of eleven it seemed like he knew everything about who he wanted to be and what he wanted to do. And on the other hand, lenora knew that she liked to read and she did not like her father when he was angry.

That was all you really needed to know at nine but she felt she needed to know so much more, she wanted to know everything about what she wanted to be, just like her brother.

She, of course, came from a racing background. Both of her parents were racing drivers, as well as her grandpa and uncle, but she never wanted to do what they did. It never stood out to her, the speed, the karts, the cars, the crowd, the adrenaline, none of it.

Maybe it was because she thought she'd never be good enough, she knew that if she stood in a line up next to all her family members she would be the last to get picked for merely anything.

She didn't know much about herself but she knew that.

MAX AND LENORA never really thought they were ever gonna be good enough for their dad. Jos never told max he was doing well, he never told him he'd be a champion.

Het is niet genoeg max, wat je doet is niet genoeg, a phrase often heard throughout the house, echoing within the walls.

Lenora never understood it, because in her eyes he was better than the whole world. She thought he could do anything and it would be enough, she just didn't know why her dad didn't think that too.

SHORTLY AFTER HER ninth birthday lenora came to the realisation that she would never be as good as her dad or her brother. She always knew that she wasn't as good as them but the realisation still hit her like a freight train.

She knew deep down she could never do any of the stuff they did, she just thought that it would hurt a little less.

Her thoughts were always far too big to wrap her brain around, she couldn't understand why she was feeling so much but feeling so little all at the same time.