𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒆 | E. Landry

011. the rules

"Ok, nerds, listen up! As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time." She looks down and messes with her shirt then looks back at up. "It's fine. Okay. The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel."

Anika raises her hand. "Um, what's a requel?"

Sam and Quinn look at her and Mindy points at her. "You're beautiful, sweetie. Let's hold questions to the end."

Anika smiles sarcastically at her, while Sam speaks up, "Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro. Stab 2 took place in college."

Alana looks up at her then looks at Mindy. "So we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?"

"That is one possibility. Heroes now in college: Check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and/or body count: Check, check, and check." She points at Quinn, then Anika, then Ethan.

The said boy shakes his head looking down. "I don't like this." This makes Alana rub her boyfriend's back soothingly and Ethan looks at her gratefully."

Mindy ignores the couple and continues, "But it can't just be about Stab 2."

"Why not?"

"It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we're not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore." She flails her arms and pauses for dramatic effect, making everyone look at her confused. "We're in a franchise!" She flails her arms again.

"And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise."

Sam sighs and puts her head down. "I had a feeling."

"Rule one: Everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings. You got to top what came before to keep people coming back."

Chad looks up from his notebook and at his twin sister. "Beheadings?"

Mindy points at her brother. "Beheadings. Rule two: Whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive but subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflakes film nerds with Letterboxd accounts instead of personalities," This makes Ethan look down with widened eyes and Alana looks at him confused before looking back at Mindy. "You can bet the opposite will be true here. And rule three: No one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It's not looking too good for Gale and Kirby." She slaps her hands together and leans forward. "Oh, and that's not even the worst part!"

Chad taps Tara with his pencil, not looking up from his notebook. "This is the part where she tells us the worst part." This makes Tara, Ethan, and Alana look at him.

"That worst part is franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now, too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond- I mean, even Luke Skywalker- all died so their franchises could live on. That means it's not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time, especially Sam, Tara, Ari, and Lana."

The three sisters look at each other while Alana stares at Mindy, processing what she just said.

"Wait- wait, a-any of us?"

"Yeah."

"Does- am I in the friend group?"

"Yeah."

"Am I, like, one of the targets of-"

"Mm-hmm."

"Am I gonna die a virgin?"

"Oh my god, Ethan." Alana covers her face in embarrassment, while everyone else everyone either looks at him confused or away from him think about what he just said.