Perfect Disaster

Bring Me Back To Life

I rolled over in my bed for what must have been the hundredth time that night and pulled my quilt over my shoulders. The rain that was drizzling outside made a soft sound as it slid down my window. I was in so much pain. The cuts on my arm that I had made earlier in the evening stung, I had a horrible headache and stomach ache, both of which I attributed to hunger. But none of that mattered right now. It didn’t matter because for the first time in what felt like forever, I was truly happy.

            I was not only going to see my favorite band in concert, but I was also going to meet them! After dinner, Sally had given me two free VIP tickets to her nephew’s concert and her nephew happened to be Josh fucking Ramsay! He was the lead singer of Marianas Trench. I was going to meet him and Matt, Mike and Ian. I still could not believe this was happening to me. It felt like a dream, like it was too good to be true.

            I rolled over again, knowing that it would be a long time before I found sleep but this time it wasn’t my depression or anxiety causing my insomnia. This time, it was pure excitement and joy. Sleep never really reached me that night, I only drifted in and out of a light doze. I had just fallen into a slightly deeper sleep when my radio alarm clock crackled to life in a wave of static alerting me that it was time to get ready for school.

            Tired as always, I slapped the alarm clock off and reached for my iPod which was on my night stand. Ear buds in, I rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, then chose a shirt to wear. I went into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. Fat, fat, fat. I straightened my hair and put on a thick coat of eyeliner. Wearing my favorite converses, I grabbed my school stuff and was out the door. It was going to be a long day, I just knew it.

            It wasn’t until I pulled out of my driveway and my Marianas Trench CD began to play again that I remembered what happened the night before. I was going to their concert in two weeks, and I was going to meet them. I smiled as I finally accepted that this was in fact real.