Foolish Hearts

Nine

Snape's Pov...

What the hell am I doing?! I shouldn't have kissed or danced with Hermione. She looked so beautiful at the Christmas party I arranged in her honor. But something...strange passed between us as we danced and shared that heated kiss. I was no stranger to relationships, I had many over the years, but this was something special. I never experienced this before. 

Was it because I found her nearly dead on my doorstep, and I had come to care for her? Or had this come about ever since the night I nearly died in the Shrieking Shack boathouse? I don't know. All I knew then was that I didn't want to go fast with this, if it was what I thought it was. Or it could be the damn wine. I know that I have done a lot of foolish things when drunk, so much so it was a damned good thing I was born a wizard instead of a muggle at times. 

Over the Christmas break, Hermione and I were polite and kind to each other, but the incident of that passionate kiss was never mentioned again. I suspect that she just wants to move forward with her life, and she is waiting for me to discuss what happened late Christmas Day. 

I needed to prepare for the coming school year, and I toyed with the idea of asking her to come with me. But no, Minerva McGonagall would skin me alive if I brought my guest...girlfriend? What was Hermione Granger to me? I certainly didn't know, and if I didn't know, I certainly didn't want to move further with what happened between us at Christmas. No, it was best if I gave Hermione her space, and let her clean and design Spinners End into what she wanted it to be. Smocky already called her 'Mistress,' as did the other elf servants under her. 

I felt strange when Smocky first started calling Hermione Mistress, but I got used to it quickly. What was the harm of letting my house elves serve her? It made them happy to have a witch to take care of for once. I packed my robes and other teaching things in my trunk, and I changed in my black teaching uniform when I found Hermione sitting at the dining room having breakfast.

She wore a long black silk robe over a matching black nightgown. She looked both alluring and domestic. She was reading the latest Daily Prophet, and she slammed her spoon down on the table as she screeched, "That fucking bitch has some nerve!" 

I stifled an urge to smile. "What tawdry trash has Rita Skeeter dragged up this time?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, and sighed, "Ugh, fine. 'Mrs. Weasley Lies...'The former slag of Hogwarts has managed yet again snared yet one more Quidditch player in her nefarious net. This time, it is Ron Weasley, who she claims beat and raped her all through their five year marriage. His mother tells a much different story, of how Miss know it all bossed him around, and drove the poor boy to drink...' Okay, I can't read any more. But, you get the point. Everyone thinks I'm some lowly slut, Severus!"

I reached across the table to take one of her hands in mine. "Hey, don't do that. First of all, not everyone thinks you are what Skeeter is portraying you as. Second of all, you are incredibly brave, and stronger than you know. And third, don't you dare let what the rumors say get to you. You know who you are deep down, and no one can take that away from you. Remember that."

Hermione smiled, and squeezed my hand. I brought it to my lips, and kissed the knuckles. "Can I go with you to watch you leave on the train?" She asked.

"I was going to apparate to Hogwarts. I would ask you to go with me, but McGonagoll would skin me alive, because.."

"We're not married," She finished for me, blushing slightly. "I know. She's pretty old fashioned. It's okay. I need to look for another job, and take care of some legal stuff. I'm just thankful that you're letting me stay here. Are you sure I can't--"

"No, you can't," I insisted, scowling. "You just being here is all the payment I need. No more talk of it, do you hear me? Or you will have detention."

Hermione laughed. "Okay, okay. I won't ever mention it again. But I may present five rolls of parchment on why it's wrong to kiss your Professor at Christmas."

I laughed, and shook my head. "It would only be wrong if that were true. But whatever we are, I want us to have time to figure that out."

We ate our breakfast in silence for a while, until it was time to go. I accioed my traveling trunk, and again, that strange tension came between us as I stood in the foyer of the house. I took her in my arms, and as we looked into each other's eyes, I felt my heart flutter in my chest. I trailed my hand down from her temple to her cheek, and I molded her to my body. I meant to only kiss her chastely, but as she ran her fingers through my hair, I was running my hands down her waist, and I found myself drowning in her amber eyes. 

"I...I have to go," I stammered.
Hermione began to tear up, and grabbed my hand. "Severus, please. Please..." 

It was her tears that broke my resolve to leave without kissing her. I crushed her to me, and poured all of my inner anguish into my kiss. When we broke apart, we looked at each other wide eyed. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I left without another word. 

When I went outside to the apparition point carrying my travelling trunk, I went directly to the castle, and took a long, cold shower once I was safely ensconced inside of the headmaster's quarters. I'm a fool, a damned fool. I shouldn't be feeling these things for a witch who was once my student. But I had no power to stop it now, even if I tried...