Don't Leave Home

Care

Apart from the qualities you've learned to appreciate in him despite the relatively little time you've spent in his company, there were some things about Toji Fushiguro that you couldn't help being upset about.

One of these things was the fact that, unless you were in the same place or he decided to do it, it was almost impossible to contact him during the day. Yes, he was always with a cell phone in his pocket, but making him answer a call was a worthless mission; waiting for him to reply a message quickly was like waiting for a miracle. You found out about that right in the first week with Megumi, something that you've never expected to see while dealing with a parent, so that you had to solve any inconveniences all by yourself.

On one hand, Toji's attitude gave you autonomy to create the routine you believed to be the best for the baby and let you free from the stress some parents would put on the babysitter when they insisted on having things their way; on the other hand, it was easy to get lost without his help when surprises happened, and that exasperated you in a way you couldn't explain: your experience in that job told you how hard it could be to take care of a child without a partner's help, and he must have known that, but he didn't seem so worried about it as you were. Was he taking advantage of you by throwing all the responsibility of worrying on your back, or were you just exaggerating the importance of your own part? You felt your head aching every time you tried to find a reasonable answer for these questions.

But even more irritating than not being able to contact Toji when you needed was to realize that you couldn't be mad at him for too long when he came back and started talking to you as if nothing happened, asking how things went in his absence while involving the asleep baby in his arms, sometimes joking about how dedicated you were to him and that he was afraid you would end up spoiling the little boy. If it was something in the way he spoke or if you were too soft for keeping up with a conflict for too long, you didn't know, but you always ended up smiling and forgetting about the rest.

Besides that, you hated how easy was for him to read you, for he always – always – knew when you were mad, so that you gave up on trying to hide your irritation.

Just like that evening, the day when he took the longest to come back, and you were particularly tired and just wanted to leave, but he won't show up. Megumi just woke up and wanted you to pick him up, so you ignored the protests of your aching arms and took him with you; fortunately he wasn't a whining, spoiled child, so you had at least the privilege of quietness, but no actual rest would be allowed while his father was out.

When you heard the front door opening and he finally appeared, you stood up immediately and asked if something happened.

He was tired as well, you noticed, yet he gave you his largest grin, guessing the implied demand in your words: why did you disappear for so long this time?

- Work sent me to the other side of the town today.

He came to you and took the baby with him, just like he used to do, and you startled when when he raised a free hand and gave you a brief touch under your chin.

- Sorry for that, darling. I'll make amends in your payment this week, okay?

You crossed your arms and kept quiet. So he was thinking he could just buy you with money? How about trying to be more responsible and answering the damn phone at least to say he was alive?

The grin faded on his lips and he raised an eyebrow at you.

- What's that with this look? You're really mad, aren't you?

It didn't make sense to deny it if he knew the truth. You sighed.

- You know, sometimes it would be good if you just gave me a sign that everything's alright. There are days when I really need some help or instructions, and others when Megumi asks me from time to time where you are. I always say you're coming back soon, but it's not always enough for him.