10 Years A Secret

FLASHBACK

October 11th, 2005

10 years old.

Mom and daddy are fighting again. I guess mom bought a really expensive gift for her friend, and we just can't afford it. Daddy usually hits mommy when she does stupid things. Sometimes he hits me too, but I know he does not mean it.

Mommy ran in my room, and told me to gather my things. I don't really know why this happens. We always leave, and we always come back. It's so annoying. I can't handle much more of these fights.

"Taylor! Come on! Let's go we need to leave." Mom said.

"But why momma? Why do we always gotta leave. Mommy I wanna stay here!"

"STAY HERE THEN! I'LL GO TO WORK," Daddy yelled. Then he breathed and lowered his voice. "Let me cool off. I'm sorry babe." He walked out of my room with my mom.

I heard them saying they loved each other, but mommy started to hesitate. I don't know why mommy stays with daddy. I guess she really loves him. I do too.

My mom cooked me a hotdog and some egg salad. I ate. My mom got a phone call. For some reason she had to leave the room. She screamed. I dropped my plate, and I ran to see my mom.

"Baby, my friend carol is going to come watch you okay? I need you to be a good girl. Don't ask questions. Mommy will be home soon."

I listened to my mom and waited for Carol to arrive. 6:43pm my mom screamed. It was weird. I don't know why I looked at the clock when mommy screamed, but i just did.

When Carol arrived she had told me what happened. Apparently my grandmother feel down the stairs bad and my mom screamed because all my mommy heard on the phone was help me.

I guess it was a pretty hectic night for mommy because she wasn't home until 5:00am nearly. I blacked out after Carol had told me the story. I don't really remember anything about that night, except walking through the front door at around midnight.

I feel asleep until about 6:00am on October 12th, 2005. It was Grandmothers birthday and she was spending it in the hospital? What a horrible present. When I woke I was so frightened by the night terror I had just had. I didn't think i was ever going to be able to fall back a sleep. It was so horrid. I stared at the glow in the dark star sticker on my bar white celling until the thoughts of my dream stopped occurring. I fell back asleep around 7:30am. I got a pretty fair amount of sleep because after that i woke up at 9:00am, but i wasn't in my bed now. I was on the floor. I must've fallen asleep, I mean, what else could've happened? I was on my bedroom floor so maybe I fell out of bed.

Mommy has never said anything to me about memory loss problems or sleep walking issues, so i'm probably fine. Daddy still wasn't home yet. Although, I heard mommy talking, when I woke up, to someone on the phone speaking about my daddy's gun being missing.

Did daddy leave us? Did he take his gun for protection and just leave us stranded with no daddy, and husband, to take care of us.

Then mommy came into my room with tears rolling down her face like a waterfall.