Sturniolo Imagines

Insecure (M)

A/n This is just a re write of the insecure Chris part but it's a Matt version. Hope you enjoy

!TW mentions of sh, sh scars, eating disorder and body image!

*Y/n's pov*

Today the boys were dragging me to the beach. It was a nice sunny day and they all decided to go. "Hey has anyone seen my sweater?" 

"No. Why do you need it anyway its 28 degrees outside(this is in Celsius)" Matt shouted up to me from the kitchen.

"You know me always cold" I shouted back.

"Well if you can't find it just get one of mine."

I ran downstairs in shorts and Matt's jumper wrapping my arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his cheek. He turned to face my direction and kissed my forehead. "Don't you look pretty. Have you got your swimmers on were all going for a dip in the sea when we get there."

"No I was just thinking of sun bathing today but I'll bring on in case I change my mind" I said back shooting a quick smile before going to grab one. The truth is I really didn't want to show off my arms as I had started sh again. I've been doing so well these past couple months me and Matt have been dating but I have slowly been slipping back into my old habits. The not eating my self harm, having depressive episodes where I don't want to leave my room and talk to anyone and I'm scared if he finds out he'll leave me. A tear rolls down my face just thinking about it but I quickly wipe it away and put a smile on my face and grab a bikini.

**

We soon arrive at the beach and the boys go straight into the water and I sit on the sand still in the sweater looking at others girls and looking at how perfect they all look and why I don't look like that.

I covered my stomach with my arms and watched all the boys laugh and play in the water.

*Matt's pov*

I turned to look over at y/n and she was sat still in my sweater looking at the girls on the beach. "Hey why do you think y/n is still wearing my sweater?"

"I don't know maybe you should go check up on her" Chris suggested.

I got out the water and walked over to y/n who was zoning out looking at the sea. I sat beside here and asked her if she was ok. She didn't answer "Hey y/n" I said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She turned to me and gave me a sad smile. "Hey what's wrong? You know you can talk to me right?" She just nodded her head and said she was just a bit warm thats all. "If your hot then why don't you take off the sweater?" She just burst into tears. "Hey what's up have I said or done anything wrong. Talk to me"

"I can't take it off" she said making more tears fall down her rosy cheeks.

"Why can't you love?"

"B-Because I'm not pretty like all those other girls my body isn't perfect like theirs. I'm covered in cuts and scars and stretch marks (I'm not saying these are ugly personally I think these are beautiful as they add character and show strength  to your body and who you are. I thought it just fits well with the story) Matt look I have to tell you something and promise me you wont get mad ok."

"I promise"

"Ok here goes" she sucked in a big breath and carried on talking "I've been self harming again and I haven't eaten in 4 days" She burst into more tears and I engulfed her into a giant hug. 

"Y/n only if only you could see yourself the way I see you everyday since the first day I met you. You y/n y/m/n y/l/m are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, my heart skips a beat whenever you walk into a room as I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. No amount of scars, cuts or stretch marks are ever going to keep you away from me and I promise you that I will help you recover step by step no matter how long it takes. I love you y/n and I always will. You are my soulmate, my love, my happiness and nothing is going to change that. " 

*Y/n's pov*

I look up at Matt and I can't help but smile "I love you Matthew Bernard Sturniolo"

"Not as much as I love you."

I keep hugging Matt for a bit until I tell him I'm going to get changed in the beach hut we had rented for the day and told Matt to wait for me in the water. I came out wearing this beautiful purple bikini that had been stored at the bottom of my drawers for ever.

(You can pick what you want I just chose this since it's my favourite colour. )

I met the boys in the water and Matt's jaw just dropped. He grabbed my hand and twirled me around. "Stop" I said covering my face trying to hide a smile. 

"Why should he? You do look like a goddess y/n " Nick said 

"You do look beautiful y/n" Chris added. It wasn't weird as we are best friends and we say this type of stuff to each other all the time.

"And I agree with both my brothers statements. You look drop dead beautiful my love" Matt said then kissed my lips cupping my face. I soon got deeper into the water and the salt got into my cuts and I winced in pain. "Hey you ok?" Chris asked "Yeah I'm ok I said. The water just got into my cuts thats all."

"Cuts?! You ok you know you can talk to me you know." 

"Thank you I'm all ok
now."

"You sure"

"100%" I said as I looked over to where Matt was playing with Nick in the water. "I'm all ok now"

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Hey beautiful people, hope you enjoyed this part. Remember if you feel like this you need to tell someone right away. My messages are always open and I'm here to talk if you need it.