Sturniolo Imagines

Caught (M)

Hey guys sorry it's been a while I've just been swamped with school and work so I haven't had time to sit down and write. 

This is a request  

TW-Mentions of SH, blood and an ED so if you're not comfortable reading this don't feel like you have too. Love you all stay safe and if you ever feel like any of the topics in this story my messages are always open x 

*Y/ns pov*

The boys have recently moved to LA to help with their Youtube career but I couldn't leave with them just yet as I am in my last year of college. I've just been feeling so alone lately and I feel like I have no one not even my family care about me at this point.

I'm currently sat in my dorm room on my bathroom floor feeling tired and weak as blood drips out the many cuts on my arms as my toilet is filled with vomit. Shit. I didn't want to go back to this dark place but here I am again. I'm met with the familiar darkness that filled my body two years ago before I started dating Matt.

Matt is the love of my life, my rock he helped me through this last time he was there for me, but now he's gone and I'm all alone. I promised myself and Matt that I wouldn't go back to this place, the place that feels like an endless void of darkness and solitude. My heads spinning as I slowly stand, blood dripping onto my clothes and on the floor. I grasp at the sink and the towel racks trying to steady myself as I stand as I fumble in my cupboards looking for my bandages.

I find them quickly as I clean the wounds cover it all up and act like nothing happened. My god do I feel shitty. I flush the vomit down the toilet as I go over to my bed and curl up in a ball and cry. I lay there thinking to myself 'What is wrong with me?' 'I have nothing to be upset about' 'Why am I so pathetic, I'm such a loser I can't even go a month without my boyfriend' 'Why am I like this. Why?' I lay there as tears prick my eyes as I refuse to let them fall as the thoughts keep running through my mind. 'Why do I look like this?' 'What does Matt see in me?' 'He deserves someone so much better than me'

My phone soon pings as I see a message from Matt.

Matt 💙: Hey darling. How's is everything going? I know you have that end of the year final I'm wishing you lots of luck. I know you're going to ace it we're all routing for you. I love you so much. I'll see you soon my love x

Y/n: Hey Matt. It's all going good over here I love you so much. How's LA? Can't wait to see you x

Delivered  

I turn off my phone as he doesn't respond. He's probably busy he'll message me later. He's coming back to visit in a couple weeks to see my graduation I can't wait. But what is he going to think when he see's my scars? God what did I do? He's going to be so disappointed. I start pacing around my room as I tug at my hair slightly.

Running back to my bathroom I grab the blade that was hidden behind my bathroom mirror as I cut more. Tears run down my face as I cut more guilt coursing through my veins as I keep cutting. More and more blood drips down my arms as I lean against the wall and cry.

My knees come up to my chest as I wrap my arms around my  knees as I place my head onto my knees crying more. 'I'm such a failure' Rocking back and forth I try soothe myself. I soon hear my dorm room door open as my head perks up. "W...who's there?" I say through tears and a shaky voice. "It's me Matt I thought I'd come and surprise you I flew in" Matt says as he turns the corner to the bathroom door as he soon stops in his tracks. "Oh honey what happened? Let me see please. Why didn't you tell me you felt like this? I'm not mad I just want to know what's wrong." Matt says as he rushes to my side as he holds my arms looking at the many cuts and the blood pooling out of them. I just lean on him as I cry more and more. Matt holds me tightly not wanting to let me go. "I'm getting blood all over you Matt"

"I don't care. All I care about is you're safety. Now lets get you cleaned up okay then you can tell me everything. I don't want you bleeding anymore" Matt says as he picks me up and puts me so I'm sat on the toilet seat. He starts rummaging through the cupboards looking for my bandages. "Fuck where are they?" I just point in the direction to them as he opens the door and pulls them out. He opens up the box and pulls out an alcohol wipe. "now this is going to hurt but I don't want them to get infected okay. Can I clean you up my love?" I nod in response as he kisses my forehead and the tip of my nose. "Thank you darling I just want you to be okay that's all. I don't want to hurt you but I need to do it. Do you understand I don't mean to hurt you I just want to help" He soon rips open the wipe and wipes my wounds the alcohol stinging and burning my cuts as I wince in pain. "I know it hurts honey and I'm really sorry I really am But I'm here for you. I always will be" He finishes wiping my arms as he them wraps them up and kisses my bandages as he slowly pulls my up to stand as he wraps his arms around my waist as he holds me in a loving embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck as I furrow my head into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry Matt I'm so sorry it's just I wasn't feeling myself. I felt lonely and stressed and I didn't want to bother you and I kept feeling lonely and it just kept getting worse to the point where I didn't eat and if I did I'd throw it up. I'd cry myself to sleep and I'd cut myself. I'm so sorry love. I didn't want to but I just couldn't get past these thoughts and voices in my head saying I'm not good enough and I'm not good enough for you. It just really got to me. I'm so so so sorry Matt. I really do love you" I say as I constantly apologise.

"Hey hey hey don't apologise it's not you're fault. Don't ever think those things okay. You can always talk to me no matter what it is even if it's about a cute dog you saw that day. You can tell me anything. Oh and coming back to the not good enough bit how dare you talk about my girlfriend like that. She is the most beautiful woman in the world, she's kind, sweet, funny, caring, loyal, cute, childish i a good way, always knows the right things to say, always puts a smile on my face, soothes me when I'm anxious and she's so much more than that and I'm so thankful she came into my life. I love her with all my heart and more she is the most perfect beautiful person I could ever ask for and she's way out of my league" He says then kisses me passionately "I'm always here for you no matter how rough life gets. I'll always be by your side I'll be there my brothers will be there and even my parents we all love you y/n so much don't ever think you're alone."

I kiss him again as he holds my jaw and I hold his waist. "I love you so much Matt and thank you for everything. You're my everything"

"I love you more. Now how about we go into your bedroom with some hot chocolates and snuggle up and watch some Tim Burton films. I was thinking Corpse Bride first. What do you say?"

I nod my head in excitement as I grab his hand and make the hot chocolates as we snuggle up and watch Tim Burton movies all night. My god do I love this man.

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Hey guys sorry again for not posting in a while. I hope you enjoyed this part and remember my messages are always open. Love you all!