Our Broken Love (Angels of war series #4)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I don't know why I burst into tears when I tell my brother I'm pregnant, but I think it has something to do with the horrible guilt over the timing of it all.

"Puds," he says so gently it forces another sob from me. "Hey, sweetie, don't cry. It's okay. You're okay."

When I fall into his arms, he kisses the top of my head. "I just feel so guilty!"

"Why?" He sounds confused. "Oh, honey, are you not ready for a baby?"

"No, no, it's not that. I... I'm feeling guilty because you lost your boy. And now I'm pregnant so soon afterwards," I whimper, closing my eyes to shut out his reaction.

It must be the most painful thing. Fraser doesn't let on to this however when he shakes his head. There's a soft smile sitting on his face, comforting words leaving his lips.

"I'm happy for you. There's no hard feelings. There never would be; you're my sister," he replies, not knowing how much better it makes me feel.

"It's just the timing," I whisper.

He clears his throat. "I know, but such is life. We're going to try again, Penny. Not for a few months, but we will. It's going to happen for us."

"It is going to happen for you." My watery smile is met by his grin. "It should be illegal for you not to be a dad."

"But, I'm going to be an uncle." He beams.

I laugh on a nod. "You are."

Vivienne enters the room. "And they said you would struggle to fall naturally."

My laugh gets louder. "I know! I'm as shocked as they probably will be."

Fraser opens his arm wide for his wife to fit inside. "Doctors get stuff wrong sometimes. Or our bodies just prove them wrong."

I haven't fully absorbed the fact we're having a baby yet. A part of me always thinking I wouldn't be so lucky as to experience this without intervention.

"Max starts rehab tomorrow," I blurt having had it on my mind all day. Going over and over everything all at once. "We won't have much contact for the time he's in there."

Fraser frowns. "How long will he be staying?"

"A couple months." I swallow, knowing it's the best thing for him. "They're putting him in one of the more intensive courses. I think it's going to help."

"It will help. Rehab is what he needs," he says breaking off. "And while he's away, we're here to help. Anything you need. Do you want me or Viv to come with you for the ultrasound?"

"Can you come with me?" I ask, feeling a great relief knowing I have him there.

When he leans down to kiss my head, things don't feel so daunting. "Of course. Let's go get a pub meal afterwards."

"The Anchor's Arms?" I practically beg him, craving their chicken and leek pie something chronic.

He laughs on a nod. "Sounds good to me."

...

We grab the table close to the roaring fire and settle in while our waitress comes back with our drinks order. Fraser is studying the menu while I study my tiny ultrasound pictures.

I'm just over thirteen weeks pregnant and everything looks perfect according to the nurse.  I can't quite make out their hands, but they have teeniest feet.

"So it's true?"

I jump when I look over to Maggie who's watching me with an unreadable look. My hand is quick to cover the picture, but it's so clear she's already seen it. "Please don't start on me now, Maggie. Just go."