Our Broken Love (Angels of war series #4)

Epilogue

The view I get every morning makes the sleepless nights worth it. Max is rocking a fussy Bea as she's just had a belly full of milk and a cuddle from me, never wanting to settle straight away.

"Do you think she's still hungry?" I ask, covering my mouth when a big yawn catches me off guard.

"Nope, don't think so," Max replies, giving her his daddy smile as she coos up at him, tiny hand reaching for his nose.

It's been three months of heaven, hard work at times, but pure joy. Bea is bigger now, her chubby cheeks double the size and her black hair curls into little tufts.

She's a beauty. The pale pinkness of her rosebud lips matching mine. It's about the only thing that is considering she's all Max.

Max lifts her to kiss around her face, causing her to squeak and coo at the same time. "You just want some attention, huh? Shall we leave mummy to get some sleep? Yeah?"

I drag the covers up to my ears, thinking a few extra hours would do nicely. Max bends to kiss my lips before he strokes my face and grabs Bea's blanket to wrap around her as the heating hasn't kicked in just yet.

I'm drifting off after hearing the bedroom door scrape across the carpet, waking a couple hours later to the sounds of Elsie and Jame's downstairs.

I roll onto my back, feeling far more refreshed, jumping out of bed to slip into the bathroom to clean up before slipping into my loungewear to meet them downstairs.

"Penelope, look!" Elsie says when she catches sight of me coming downstairs from the living room.

"Look at you both," I say, spying Bea sleeping in her arms. "Is she being good?"

Elsie nods fast. "Yes, very good!"

James catches me for a quick hug, kissing my cheek before letting me know they brought breakfast bagels.

That's all it takes for me to rush through to the kitchen, hearing the men chuckle behind me. There's three bagels left, savoury and sweet. I go for the salmon one as soon as I spot the caper and dill cream cheese spilling over the edges. 

It has cooked, smoked salmon, spinach with pickled cucumber and red onion slices too. All squished together by a seeded bagel.

Delish!

When I join them back in the living room, Bea is in the Moses basket we keep down here. Max is sprawled out on the couch, James close by to the baby while Elsie's eyes are glued to the television.

"Thanks for the bagel, it's gorgeous," I say, slipping next to Max who wraps an arm around my shoulder.

James grins. "You're welcome. So, how's things?"

Our friends have been lifesavers where Bea is concerned. Being first time parents, Max and I have more than enough questions to get on their nerves, but they've been nothing but kind.

Especially Scarlett, who turned up at the drop of a hat last week when I was having a mental breakdown over what sleep bag is best for Bea.

There's so much conflicting information out there. I can't for the life of me make a solid decision. Cot death. It's my lingering terror. Im absolutely petrified of it, checking up on Bea several times a day to make sure she's still breathing.

"Really good. Sleepless nights kick our arses, but aside from that things are amazing," Max says, opening his mouth to taste the bagel when I give him some to try. "Oh, wow."

"I know, right?" I say,

"You decided on what you're doing with your grans house yet?" James asks, looking in the cot when Bea makes a sleepy noise.

Max is up on an instant. "She okay?"

"Yeah, just dreaming I think," James replies, making me smile when he reaches over to fuss over her a little.

Elsie leaps up from the beanbag, rushing over to see what her daddy is doing. Not wanting to miss out on anything. James smiles as he picks her up to get a look at Bea.

"She's so pwetty, daddy," she whispers, turning to wrap her arms around his neck.

James kisses the side of her head. "Isn't she just. Do you remember when Angelica was this tiny?"

"Yes! I remember her poops."

We all laugh which she loves, beaming back at us. James puts her down and she sprints back to the beanbag, dive bombing onto her belly.

James just shakes his head like he expects her funny outbursts, settling back into the armchair. "You still thinking about moving into the house?"

"Nah. We've had a good think about it and it's going to be too hard isn't it, baby?" Max replies, looking down into my eyes.

I link our fingers together. "That was his gran's home and we don't feel ready to gut everything to decorate to our tastes."

"You could always wait it out to see how you feel in a year's time," James replies, but Max is uneasy at the thought.

Beatrice left everything to him, gifting me her most treasured ornaments and jewellery. I have them safe in our wardrobe, losing my emotions every time I see them.

It's been devastating to lose her. I still feel lost... but deep inside I know she's with her husband, both looking down on us and Bea.

"Too many memories," Max says after shaking his head. "If we sell then we can put the funds towards buying a new house. We can create new memories."

"Sounds pretty perfect to me. There's no rush," he says, throwing me a friendly smile that says he couldn't be happier for us.

Life is pretty damn perfect. Max is almost one year sober. I just sold my house to move in here permanently with him. We're getting married next spring. I'm going to be an aunty to a precious little boy and I have the most wonderful daughter.

A pinch me moment— true bliss.

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