Lindsey slept in the studio for an entire week. At night, after a day of tip toeing around one another, he watched more of those home videos and skimmed through one of the journals she'd kept at that time, while Stevie went to bed and worried that he'd be gone in the morning.
It was the first time in years that she wasn't able to read him. She didn't know what he was thinking, or how he felt... She could usually tell exactly what was running through his mind by a simple look in his eyes, but it seemed like she'd lost that ability.
"Whatever you think is best..." Nora was standing in the center of the room, not sure what she was supposed to say... She couldn't pick sides, not when it came to her parents. "But a hotel is going to look so suspicious, dad." She shook her head, not sure that was the best bet either. "Checking in right here in town, without mom..." she lingered, already hearing her mothers voice in the back of her mind begging him not to do that.
Lindsey slouched down, running a hand through his curls as he stared at her from across the room. "I just..." he let off a gentle shrug, staying put on the sofa. "I just think we need a break, Nora." Lindsey admitted, even though it wasn't easy.
The past was deep and complex... overwhelming, even and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.
It was just too much information all at once.
She let out a sigh, not sure what to say, really. "I could take you to Jackson's and you could hang out with him for a couple of days?" She didn't know what to do... It had been a long time since they'd been in this predicament.
He nodded, leaning forward so his elbows nearly met his knees. "I think it would be good for you mother, too." Lindsey really did. "She's been so worried about taking care of me and reliving the past, it can't be easy for her, either." His eyes were weak and genuine... He felt bad. "She needs a break." He knew her well enough to know that.
Nora couldn't argue with him there. She hadn't seen Stevie that stressed out in years. She wasn't going out with her friends like she usually did, she hadn't called Lori back in a week and she wasn't even writing or playing like she normally would.
"You have to talk to her before you leave." She could be stern and that was one of those moments that she was forced to be. "You have to explain to her why you want to do this... I can't." She was always put in the middle, and at some point, she had to put her foot down.
This was that point, for her.
He looked down at his hands, seeing the wedding band that he had finally put back on. "I know that I love her..." he did, it was very clear to him. "But I think this is for the best." He added, not totally certain but hoping he was doing the right thing.
Nora paused for a moment, staring into the set of blue eyes that she had defended forever... She would move mountains for her parents, even on the worst days. "Do what you have to, but don't get careless with her heart." She warned.
Lindsey shook his head, a very gentle, almost sad smile on his face. "I won't, I promise."
~~
"I don't want you to feel like you have to leave." Stevie quickly assured, holding up her hands as she stood close to the kitchen island.
She had just listened to him explain to her that he felt like they needed some time apart, which broke her heart into a million pieces, but she wasn't going to show that. She couldn't guilt him- it wasn't fair... if he needed it, she would be understanding of it.
"I can go and you can stay here, where you've grown comfortable." She added, heart beating a mile a minute as her eyes stayed focused on him.
He was sitting at the counter, not daring enough to look up as he spoke to her. "No, you-"
"Jackson lives in a really small apartment and his couch is super uncomfortable." She waved a hand softly, hoping he wouldn't leave. "Besides, since the divorce and Parker going to college, Harper has been really bored, so I'll stay with her." She quickly added, even though she felt the tears filling her deep brown eyes.
He sighed heavily, seeing one tear drop roll down her cheek as those big saucers stared right at him. "Please, don't cry, Steph." Lindsey couldn't take the crying- that nearly destroyed him.
"I'm not." She whispered, quickly wiping it away with the back of her hand. "I'm not crying." Stevie's voice cracked as she turned around to face the window.
He felt as small as an ant, knowing he'd made a mistake already. "I don't want you to leave home, just because I'm confused." Lindsey didn't think uprooting her was fair.
He felt like if he was the one that needed to do some soul searcher, then he was the one that needed to go.
Pursing her lips to the side, she continued to gaze out the window at the yard that she loved so much.
She could suddenly remember the afternoon that Grayson took his arm floats off and jumped in the pool for the first time. Or the morning of Louise's high school graduation when she had forced all five of her kids to take pictures by the rose bushes, while they complained till the very end. And she even thought of the night of her sixtieth birthday when he surprised her with a party on the patio with all of her closest friends.
He didn't remember any of it, but she could and she cherished it.
"I can't sleep here, without you." She admitted, finally turning back to look at him. "So I'll go," she whispered. "But just know, whenever you're ready, I'll still be here."
