Fluttering Waves: Rough Waters

Fluttering Sails

"Thoma, we can't... W-we can't be together. Thoma, I'm sorry..."

Ayato just stared at the blonde boy with his knees down, holding a bouquet of windwheel asters. He can only hear the crickets, the noise of the waves drowns out the deafening silence between them. Until Thoma decided to speak up and shatter the wall between the two.

"I understand Ayato... I- I just want to tell you my feelings, that's all..."

Ayato felt the need to tell Thoma the truth, the truth he had tried so far to keep, because he felt like the tides could change in his favor and he could be free from this shackle he is currently in.

"It's just because I am engaged already, Thoma. I just want to clear this up tonight..."

Thoma just warmly smiled back at him, and Ayato felt his heart crush from the weight of what he saw, He should've been happy that Thoma took it so well, but why does it feel like he would be the first one to burst into tears?

"Congratulations, Ayato! How come I didn't know this sooner?

Thoma just looked at the sea as he brushed the side of his neck, trying to hide the tears forming in his eyes. Ayato just stared at the grass, trying to avoid Thoma's face.

"Well, my fiance wanted to keep our engagement a surprise until we publicly announced that we are betrothed."

"I-I see *cough*, well, thank you for sharing that with me, I guess waka... Thank you for lending me some of your time as well... just to hear me out..."

Thoma and Ayato walked back to their estate, keeping their distance from each other. Thoma is carrying the bouquet of windwheel asters as it moves with the sea breeze. Ayato carried his burdened heart, which just rejected the friend he had ever had.

Ayaka was waiting for them by the gate, ready to cheer for them both, but she only saw Thoma looking defeated beside his brother, spaced out in his world.

"Thoma, brother, how was the evening stroll?"

"Ah! Miss Ayaka, it went quite well. Master and I had a meaningful talk."

Ayato just glanced at Thoma just as quickly, only to look back at the ground again.

"Well, it seems like my brother is tired of that walk. I can lead him to his room on my own, Thoma. Just get yourself ready for bed, as the other servants took care of his bed already."

"As you wish, my lady."

Ayaka leads Ayato to his room. Thoma, with the bouquet still in hand, tightened his grip on it as he threw it away in the nearest trash can. He then went to his room to prepare for the sleepless night he would have.

Ayaka opened the shoji to his brother's room, the scent of purple roses from Sumeru filled the room, Ayato then sat on his bed, which was scattered with roses. Ayaka and Ayato sat there for a moment until Ayato broke the silence.

"He was ok with it... He was happy for me. That was what I wanted, Ayaka, right..."

Ayato could feel the tears trickle down his face. Ayaka offered him a handkerchief and stood up.

"I thought you were already in talks about canceling your engagement, brother. He knows about that already, huh."

Ayato just stared at Ayaka and nodded.

"I told him just to clear things up, but I felt my heart crush on its weight hearing him congratulate me. I don't know why I felt that, Ayaka."

"CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM AYATO! You wouldn't feel that way if you wanted to be with him as well. You wouldn't feel this disappointment if you didn't like him back."

"I can't leave this position I'm in Ayaka. I'm part of a group of people who lead this nation. I'm just so damn unlucky that I'm now caught up on my reality that I have to marry someone I don't even love!"

Ayato just collapsed on his bed as the cotton sheets soaked up his tears and the moonlight shining upon him took them all away.

"Brother, just rest up for tonight... You still have a meeting to attend tomorrow."

Ayaka then went to Thoma's room, She saw him writing a letter while countless crumpled papers scattered across his desk. Thoma didn't seem to notice her. Ayaka then proceeded to knock on the cabinet next to her. Thoma then glanced in her direction.

"A-Ah! My lady! May I help you?"

"May I sit on your futon, Thoma?"

"Uhh... sure... Help yourself, my lady."

Ayaka sat on the futon and just stared at Thoma, focused on the letter he was writing. Thoma stopped writing as soon as he felt Ayaka staring at him.

"My lady, is this about the preparations for his meeting tomorrow? I already talked with the re-"

"I'm not here for that, Thoma. I am here to ask you about what you're writing."

"Lady Ayaka, please don't tell Waka this... I just want to take a mini vacation, you know... I don't think I can bear to see him for now."

"Well, I understand, Thoma. I'm not here to cheer you up or anything because I have no right to say anything regardless of your feelings for him. But I just want you to know, that I am on board with this vacation of yours. Just take care of yourself, Thoma, ok? Good night."

Ayaka left the room, and Thoma continued to finish off his letter. The next morning, Thoma woke up late from his usual sleep, and Ayaka ordered the servants to not wake him up and let him rest. Thoma looked for Ayaka with a letter in hand. 

"Thoma! Are you looking for me?"

"Ah, lady Ayaka, can you pass this letter to Ayato for me? I woke up later than I'm supposed to so I can catch up with the next boat."

"Oh! You're leaving today? Well, it seems like your vacation starts today, I see. I wish you the safest travel, Thoma!"

Thoma then went on to catch the next boat sailing towards his hometown, Mondstadt.

Ayato went home early, as Ayaka anticipated. It was late in the afternoon. Ayato went straight to his room to rest, as all he could think about throughout the meeting was Thoma's confession and the what-ifs if he just said yes. Then he took notice of the letter on his desk. It smelled like the perfume Thoma often wears. He opened the letter and read its contents. Tears soon trickled down his face while he was reading the letter. 

Dear Ayato,

Hello, I want to write this letter just to tell you that I want to take some time alone for now. Don't worry, I am sure that if fate destined me to come back into serving the Kamisato estate, then I shall glide with the wind and come back. I served the estate from when I was a child, becoming your own personal servant and becoming one of the chief maids as I am writing this letter. I am forever glad that I can call the Kamisato Estate my home, even though I am not one of your kin. I shall forever cherish the sakura blooms we watch fall every spring, the colorful fireworks every new year, and even the smallest of details of me serving you tea every afternoon. I don't want this letter to be long, as I know you are quite a busy man, Ayato. Please wish me well on my journey. I wish the best for you and your future wife. May you, your fiance, and Ayaka be well in the future. May the flame of your heart burn for Inazuma. 

Your dear friend,
Thoma

He soon collapsed on the floor, and Ayaka and his close servants rushed in as soon as they heard a loud thud coming from his room. That day marks the day the flowers last bloomed and the warmth of the world spread across the estate.