No more memories // Chan x SKZ

Polaroid photo

     Back when Chan was 11 - 2013 - he and his best friends used to sneak outside of the orphanage before dinnertime.

They would sit on a hill about a hundred feet away from the orphanage, and watch the sunset. The boys  would talk about how much they wanted to run away together and Live a peaceful Life. Maybe run a coffee shop where they could all work in the same place together.

he used to imagine his life like that. It was so perfect, but now, he had none of them. 

And he never will again. 

10 years later, while none of those things were achieved, chan did work at a coffee shop, but no one cared for him.

     he had used to hope that suddenly his friends would appear at his doorstep telling him that it was alright. That he was loved now. it Never did. So he gave up on that hope, telling himself that it would only bring him down. It always hurt to think about them. 

he had few photos of memory. the one he kept in the back of his phone case, that was his favorite. 

the photo showcased his favorite part of his 11th birthday. he was on Hyunjin's back, the others were smearing cake onto Chan's face.

Jisung on the other hand, was holding a pink skirt- that was what he gave to chan on that day- The photo didn't show this scene of the party, but, the older boys were asking chan if he would wear the skirt.

it took a few minutes of persuading, but chan obliged. 

This was the last photo he had of them, well before they left him. What Chan would do so he can hug one of them. one. last. time.

Chan shifted in his bed that was clearly to big for him, he never got sleep.

maybe his body was only able to cry at night so his body was able to tire him out. And he'd finally get sleep. 

Seungmin and jeongin used to cuddle him to sleep.

 It was so peaceful back then. 

Minho would chase chan around with a spoon full of food until Changbin caught him and both of them would force chan to eat. 

They cared for him so much. 

He would forever miss how Felix would bake brownies for him whenever he felt down. Or how Jisung and hyunjin would make chan laugh when he wanted to cry.

Now he would wonder, what would it be like if they were still alive? 

Chan peeled the black case off of his phone, and took out the faded old polaroid out of his phone. 

"I miss you."

Maybe soon, he wouldn't.