Chasing The Sunset

05

"Si Cindy running for Dean's Lister sa DLSU."

I smirked. This is what I've been telling about. She doesn't want people to give me attention. Gusto niya sa kanya, sa anak niya o sa buong pamilya niya. The people switched to congratulate my sister. It's not that I am jealous of her, it is the fact that when is my turn?

It was never jealousy. What I was thinking before is when it will be my turn? When will be my mother be proud of my acheivements? When I left the house the thought that I had was how will I get my mother's validation? Not until, Kairo gave me a vision on how people will see. How I shouldn't care of how people give me validation. He shared that I shouldn't care whether people should like me or not.

"That's nice," Kairo's Lola said. "I'm hoping to see you on television, Amelia."

"I'll be there po," I smiled sweetly.

"Amelia, anak, can I talk to you for a second?" Sabi ng nanay ko. Napataas ang kilay ko at tinitigan siya ng ilang segundo. Ramdam ko ang liyab ng galit niya sa mga mata.

"Well, excuse me for a moment," I said to my Lola's friends. Sinundan ko ang nanay ko sa kabilang foyer.

Huminto siya, nakatalikod pa rin sa akin. "Ganyan ba talaga ang pinunta mo rito? Para magpasikat?"

"What are you saying?" I asked, calmly.

She sarcastically laughed, "Nagtataka ka pa? UST first six? Sinong maniniwala sa'yo?"

"Edi wag kang maniwala?" I counterattacked. "It's easy to not believe me. Hindi ba ganoon ang ginagawa mo sa akin dati pa lang?"

"Wala ka talaga respeto 'no?" Nanggagalaiting sabi niya. "Na sa pamamahay kita! Kahit konting respeto galing sa'yo, Amelia!"

"Respect? Why?" I said. "Dahil nanay kita, ganoon ba? Dahil inaalagaan mo 'ko? Bullshit. You were the one who disrespected me first. Pumunta ka pa talaga kina Tita Dianne, para ano? Kaawaan ka nila? Para i-share kung gaano ako kawalang-galang na anak?"

"What... What the hell are you saying!" She shouted. I hope no one hears this shit. Nakakahiya lang. "I did that because we wnated to share this special event! Ayaw namin na ma-feel mo na iba ka! Ayaw kong lumayo ang loob mo sa amin dahil pamilya mo kami!"

"No!" My voice suddnely raised because of frustration. "You want me to come here because you want people to say that you are good mother but you are not," I said, trying to breathe properly. "You made me feel like I am not your family ever since. I didn't come here for you to treat me again like this, I came here because of my grandparents and if you feel threatened then I will leave."

Umalis ako sa harap niya. Eto ang dahilan ko bakit ayaw ko nang bumalik dito. Simula nung tumira ako dito, hindi ko naramdaman na pamilya nila ako. Kaya nagtataka ako ngayon kung bakit sinasabi niya sa'kin 'to, na inimbita nila ako para ma-feel na pamilya. Bakit ngayon pa? Weird amputa.

"Para kang kabute," I said when I saw him standing sa side, kumakain ng ice cream. "Did you hear everything?"

Maliit siyang tumango na parang bata kaya napangiti ako, "That proves how bad person I am."

"Okay lang, cute ka naman," he smiled. "Ayos ka lang?"

"Hmm. Okay lang. Alis na rin ako," I said and then starts walking para makapag-paalam na sa Lola at Lolo ko.

"Hatid na kita," sabi niya sa akin at sinabayan ako sa paglalakad.

Huminto ako at humarap sa kanya. He towered me with his height. Tangina, kahit anong tangkad ko mas matangkad pa rin siya sa akin. "I have a car, Kairo. Ihahatid mo pa ang Lola mo."