Pounding Head and Beatless Heart: Short Poems

Rumination

I am the writer
I write my own story
I craft my chapters
I take control of the plots
I am my main character.

But why do I feel like I never belong?
Was I feeling this way all along?
Thought I was over my unforgiving past
How could I end up being so lost?

Tried to win every time
Although I lost from the very start
Built my walls up high
True identity masked,
Traumas still unsurpassed.

All alone, I fight
All alone, I cry
Comforted by loneliness
Unimaginable hopelessness
Yet, no remorse upon the wreckage I've supressed.

Battling with the war, I told nobody about
All of the chapters blurred,
Pages were left unturned.
The world expected me to die as a hero
Instead, I lived to be the villain.