CHOKING ON FLOWERS; vance hopper

008

* lowercase is intended, i do not own or take credit for any of these characters but my own !

* TW; violence, excessive swearing, mentions of death, knives, dark topics.

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am i sure that i actually like finny blake? not really. 

but would i try to move on and experience things instead of being hung up on someone else? yes, yes i would. i glided the lipgloss applicator onto my lips glancing into the mirror, my skin was getting dry with the change of weather. i let my hair stay down but curled the ends backwards into little curls. 

it was four in the morning and here i was getting over-ready for a regular day at school.

"okay you got this y/n, how about we just try to have a good day for once." i smiled into the mirror before my eyes were drawn to something stashed underneath my jewelry box. lifting the pink box up i frowned, in my hands i held a medium sized polaroid. one i wished i could forget and one that contained a day i wish i could repeat. 

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BRUCE

it was the most perfect moment in my life and honestly i think im the luckiest guy in the world to be standing with her right now. 

what would we do? where should we go next? 

y/n how can i even tell you how much i like you? can words really describe the feeling? at least we're finally friends. 

i smiled down at my desk while i read the paper she had passed back, i glanced at her, she smiled at me. 

y/n l/n. 

she leaned into one of her hands whenever she was frustrated, very lightly she'd tap her pencil on her desk when she didn't know how to write, and she constantly brought small snacks for all of her friends.

-

i was supposed to give her something that day, i had a plan, but when i heard that camera go off i panicked. i regretted it as soon as it happened when i realized i had biked far i began to turn around. 

i hoped she'd still be there and i hoped she'd be able to forgive me, i don't even know what i'd do to make her forgive me actually. worth a shot i guess.

i don't even know why a smile made its way to my face but i'd do whatever it took to apologize even if she told me she'd rather not talk to me again. id look out for her always and i'll always be there for her. 

"hi bruce!" 

broken out of my thoughts i smiled and nodded at them before i heard a shot go out into the air, there's finny blakes rocket again, i thought. 

one last corner and i'd be able to apologize to her, one last corner and i could see her again, one last corner. 

for some reason i began to get a bad feeling as i saw a black van pull up, a man with a mask and tall hat got out making his way towards me. i slammed on my brakes and began to slowly back up but it was too late, the next thing i knew, i was practically a goner. 

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i've been in this basement for a couple of days, i think i'm going to start going insane if that phone keeps ringing or if i'm stuck here. i don't know if i'll be able to escape. 

i'm sorry i wasn't able to apologize to you y/n, i care about you. 

always.

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i quickly set the photo down before i cried or something. 

i miss you bruce, where did you go?  i frowned to myself.

i guess i got sucked into my thoughts for too long because moments later my alarm for school rang. 

so with that i walked to school, freezing my ass off, but at least i looked good you know? 

"hey y/n you look cutsie" audrey walked beside me and we made our way through the crowd in the hallway. 

"oh, thanks" i smiled, adjusting my backpack.

"whats wrong?" she asked, glancing around to make sure we didn't bump into anyone we didn't like.

"i don't know, i just saw a photo from a long time ago, and i just got kind of nostalgic. do you think he'll ever come back?" 

"y/n... one of these days you need to accept it, he's not going to come back and i know that's hard for you to accept but all you can do is move on and keep him in your heart." 

"i think that's the most serious you've ever been, but thanks." 

we smiled at each other before robin joined us shortly after our conversation ended.

"hey." he said, but it seemed like he was directing it more towards audrey than me, despite the strange suspicion that i was third wheeling i was soon joined by finny blake. 

--

audrey and robin ran off to god knows where i really am starting to suspect they are dating or something, they're so weird.

finny and i stood at my locker in silence, i finally sighed before turning to him.

"good morning finny blake."

"you know you can just call me finn right?"

"finny blake is cute, maybe when we're best friends i'll call you finn." i joked, nudging him with my elbow. 

"what we're not best friends? oh my gosh, i must be missing out." he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes he shut my locker for me. 

"hey so, um." i hesitated as this mornings memory reappeared in my head, "would you consider hanging out with me after school sometime?" 

he looked a little shocked before giving me a small laugh, "any day except friday y/n, i'm here." 

i should have felt excited.

i should have felt like any girl would when they like someone. 

but my mind and my feelings were at two places at once. 

i smiled and pulled him in for a hug, i didn't even ask if he was okay with that, was it a way to reassure myself?

all i knew is that when i felt his arms wrap around me,

i still felt nothing.