Sorry

Fractured Hope

Memories of that day are fuzzy; not that memories will do you any good. We were on a bus heading somewhere, "we" meaning yours truly and 26 of my friends. We had some adults to supervise us.

I remember feeling tired on that bus ride. I closed my eyes, which were burning, to rest them a bit.

What I opened my eyes to seemed like a dream. It was hot, there was screaming, smoke, fire... I swear I saw a leg or two just lying in the fire. Loud bangs, like those of a firearm, small ones. A hand reached for me, belonging to one Alan Adler.

If it weren't for him, it would've ended there... it should've ended there. That would've been better for everyone. But I was pulled, and the adults who were with us were nowhere to be found. The kids' numbers had dwindled down to around 14, all of them shaking, crying, or just frozen as if they'd seen a ghost.

A ghost would've been the lesser evil. I didn't realize what those things were when we first encountered them, although I really liked post-apocalyptic stories. Maybe it was the shock. They were limping our way, foaming at the mouth, blood-red eyes. Their clothes all had a reddish-brown color, as if they'd spilled some paint on them.

I blinked, just for one second, a single blink I swear, and I was no longer there. I found myself in a cell without windows, the door closed. It had a small bed and some food there.

I learned later that it was for everyone's safety. We didn't know as much about them back then, how it spread, who was infected and who was not.

***

It has been 6 years since Judgment Day. Today is my 12th birthday. A few weeks ago, it was Lyla's, and in a few weeks, it'll be Jimmie's... It's a miracle we've survived this long. Well, not really. We managed to survive because we had adults with us. Adults who knew what they were doing, adults who had no reason to take us in. Quite the opposite, they had every reason to kick us out. Yet we stayed, we learned, we made ourselves useful. We're part of this now. Life isn't perfect, but it's great.

***

My 13th birthday... This year has been rough... Maybe we've become careless, our senses dulled.

We went on a hunting trip to stock up for the winter, and I don't know what happened. I don't know how we let those monsters sneak up on us, but they did. We were surrounded, and we barely managed to survive. It's all thanks to Alan and his wife Lily. But you can't save everyone. We lost 7 people, 5 of whom were adults.

Maybe they were right. Maybe we're too young to accompany them. Was it our fault?

***

My 15th birthday. I don't know why it took me this long to notice, but I did. Some of the adults don't like us, or just me. I only noticed a few weeks back when Lyla pointed out how some of them look at us. Now, I catch them glaring every now and again.

I can't blame them. Everyone's working their ass off to keep this place afloat, and here we are doing next to nothing to help. It's not for lack of trying. It's just... we're not as experienced or efficient, and they just get annoyed at how slow we are.

***

It's been... a while... A lot of things have happened. We lost more people, tensions are a bit worse. Not much is new.

***

Today, Alan and his Lily took me out, along with some of the kids. For the past few weeks, he has been teaching us how to shoot, how to act under pressure. But I never thought we'd be going out, not this fast, especially without adults... well, more than 2.